Thank Goodness She’s Off The Streets

I was sick of reading the horrible news stories on CNN, so I went to thesmokinggun.com in search of some comedic relief. The following story is more amazing than funny – it’s amazing that they put this poor girl through this, and it’s amazing that they wasted tax payers’ dollars in doing so.

From thesmokinggun.com:

AUGUST 21–The next time you forget to return a couple of library books (and ignore those annoying letters about the overdue status of said volumes), think of Heidi Dalibor. The Wisconsin woman, 20, was arrested earlier this month in connection with a pair of books overdue for several months. Dalibor, who made the mistake of ignoring a court citation issued after she failed to respond to letters and phone calls from the Grafton library, was busted August 6 for failing to return copies of Janet Fitch’s best-seller “White Oleander” (a 1999 Oprah Book Club selection) and “Angels & Demons,” author Dan Brown’s precursor to “The Da Vinci Code.” According to a police report, Dalibor was apprehended at her family’s home, cuffed and stuffed in a cruiser, and booked for violating the “overdue library materials” ordinance. Dalibor subsequently settled with the library by paying her overdue fines and reimbursing it for the cost of the two novels, which totaled around $180. Dalibor’s mother Patty said that her daughter was “a good kid” who works two jobs. She is also now the owner of the Fitch and Brown books, which Dalibor got to keep as a result of paying off her library levies.

A 9 Foot WHAT?!?

A 9 foot tapeworm. Eww and ouch – enough said!
Here’s the story:

A man who contends he got a 9-foot tapeworm after eating undercooked fish is suing a Chicago restaurant.

In a lawsuit filed Monday, Anthony Franz says he ordered salmon salad for lunch from Shaw’s Crab House in 2006 and fell violently ill. He later passed the giant parasite, which a pathologist determined came from undercooked fish, such as salmon.

Franz’s lawsuit seeks $100,000 from Shaw’s and its parent company, Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises.

Franz claims the restaurant’s staff was negligent in serving him improperly cooked fish.

But Carrol Symank, vice president of food safety for Lettuce Entertain You, says the tapeworm didn’t come from Shaw’s Crab House.

Terrorizing Tangents

After the drive-through animal safari (see my previous post). We were SO ready for dinner, but instead, we headed to Ghostly Manor in Sandusky, Ohio, hoping to beat the Saturday night crowds. It’s weird because it’s a haunted house that’s open year-round, and it’s in the middle of a roller skating rink / arcade. You pay your admission, and then you wait in line for your doom (insert evil laugh here). Someone raps at the door to signal your turn in the haunted house, and let’s be honest – it’s so much better than we could ever do at the haunted house (or haunted tour, as we are calling it) that is planned for October’s weekends in Williams County Ohio. But, we have a teeny-weeny budget, so how can we possibly compare? Also, we cannot have narrow corridors (nor the “birth canal hallway”; something they had that I was not thrilled with, but would be a very scary tool if we could work with it. But I wouldn’t want to really try because it totally seemed like a lawsuit waiting to happen…), so that makes it a different type of haunted house to begin with. But anyway… they say it’s the 4th scariest in the nation and I believe them. Although I have to admit to being curious about the top 3 haunted houses on that list… what is so scary? Let me know which haunted houses are rated the scariest; as soon as you find out. I do know that while traipsing through Ghostly Manor, I grabbed my husband’s shirt (he was in front of me), and I didn’t let go… I let him lead me through the birth canal, past the skeletons and falling maggots, and I actually pushed him (hard!) past the vibrating floor boards (another something we can’t do because of low budget). He ventured through the lair several times after that without me, and I don’t know what his experience in the Ghostly Manor was like without my pushing, shoving, and screaming, but he said it was better with me along…

Either way, it was a really fun day, and we came home with lots of ideas for our haunted tour. Ours will be touring in October, so check it out on October 10-11, 17-18, 24-25, and 31-Nov. 1 in Bryan Ohio. See ya then!!!!!

Lookit The Cute Meeses

Two baby moose are called what? Twin baby mooses, I guess… But anyway, check out this really cute video I received via email – a baby moose finds someone’s backyard sprinkler, then he goes over and “tells” his mommy and twin brother about it, and they all enjoy themselves tremendously. The mommy moose grooms her babies in it, and the babies play together – it’s SO cute!

Sure beats the other baby moose video I saw this week – we won’t go into that (you fellow CNN junkies know what I’m talking about), just nature taking its course, I guess… But let’s focus on the cute mooses (?) playing in the sprinkler instead:

Click here for some extremely cute baby animal action.

RIP Caray

Recently Skip Caray passed away, a son of famed Chicago Cubs announcer Harry Caray. Skip was actually famous for his work announcing the Atlanta Braves rather than the Cubs, but his death in the news made me think of his father and everything he brought to Cubs games.

Since I didn’t watch many Braves games, I wasn’t really familiar with Skip’s work, so I looked him up on wikipedia.com and found the following:

Skip Caray’s broadcasts were characterized by his witty and sarcastic sense of humor, a personality trait that endeared him to most fans, but alienated him from others.For example, during a particularly long losing streak in the 1980s, Skip declared at the start of a game against the Pittsburgh Pirates “And, like lambs to the slaughter, the Braves take the field”.More recently, in a game against the Florida Marlins, the Braves had loaded the bases, to which Caray quipped, “The bases are loaded, just like (Marlins manager) Jack McKeon probably wishes he was.” During the 2004 season, Caray frequently made fun of Braves relief pitcher, Jung Bong, declaring every time the opposing team got a hit against him, “that’s another hit off of Bong”. In 2008, a player popped a fly ball so high that Skip said “That would’ve been a home run in a phone booth.”

Sounds like a funny guy, and I’m sure he’ll be missed by legions of fans, much like his late father, Harry Caray, the voice of the Chicago Cubs.

10 DUI’s in 16 Years

I feel very strongly against drunk driving. It’s one thing to make the choice to drink too much; that’s up to the individual, but when they make the choice for others and expose them to the danger of an intoxicated motorist on the road, that’s extremely selfish and dangerous. It’s also very preventable; if you really want to drink enough to make yourself unsafe behind the wheel, there is absolutely no reason why you can’t plan ahead, find a driver ahead of time, walk home, call a cab, call a friend, take a bus, stay home and get drunk in the first place… the list of ways to prevent driving under the influence goes on and on. That being said, there was a story on dailyherald.com (suburban Chicago newspaper) recently that caught my interest. It was about a man who had been caught drunk driving 10 times in the last 16 years. How does this happen? I believe the guy had a serious problem, and I’m a person who believes in getting people help before throwing them in jail, however, it seemed that this guy was not going to learn until he killed someone… and unfortunately, that’s just what happened – and it was himself that he killed. I don’t know why he was out roaming the streets still after getting busted that many times; especially when you read the article and see that in 1996, he had drunk driving arrests on April 7, April 14, April 26, and May 1. 4 times in less than a month?!? I don’t understand how he was released between each of these instances and not only that, but after all this, he was sentenced to a total of one year in DuPage County jail. He got out early, of course, had a few more busts, and then this latest one on July 2 of this year, which is when his story caught my attention. A few weeks later, he died while in police custody. In the article, they say he had seizures and a brain bruise, and it’s my theory that his alcohol withdrawl caused his seizures, which led to him hitting his head and causing the brain bruise. Whatever happened to him, it’s a very sad story; a man with a severe problem who never got help. At least his family never had to deal with the added grief of his causing injury or death to another person. Here is the story and the mugshot, he’s not the healthiest looking fellow. And note the oxygen tank; he had cirrhosis of the liver but still kept drinking:

Patrick J. Kolman, who was arrested for DUI at least 10 times in the past 16 years, died from chronic alcoholism Wednesday night, the Cook County medical examiner’s office said.

Besides alcoholism, the Arlington Heights resident also suffered from a brain bruise and seizures, the medical examiner said. It was unclear when the contusion occurred.

Kolman, 58, had already been convicted of DUI nine times when police spotted his car weaving between lanes a few blocks from his home around 2:30 a.m. on July 2.

Kolman had DUI convictions dating back to 1993. Though he’d been in and out of jail, he received one-year sentences for many of his drunken driving crimes. He had also been convicted of bank robbery, for which he got a much longer sentence, and faced domestic abuse charges.

Kolman’s downward spiral began in spring 1992. He was arrested for DUI in Rolling Meadows with a blood-alcohol content more than three times the legal limit at that time.

“I am an alcoholic,” he told law enforcement officials then. “I can’t drink at all.”

Kolman was once diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver, but continued to drink after treatment and against medical advice. He appeared in his July booking photo with an oxygen tank.

Details about the length of some of Kolman’s DUI sentences is sketchy. A 1995 DUI arrest resulted in a one-year jail sentence and placement in a drug and alcohol program. But in 1996, he was charged with DUI on April 7, April 14, April 26 and May 1. He was sentenced to a total of one year in DuPage County jail.

Kolman likely served only half that time because of good behavior credits. He was stopped again in mid-1997 for driving after his license had been revoked. He was sentenced to two years and served time at the Dixon Correctional Center, according to corrections department records.

Kolman, of 124 S. Vail St., appeared in bond court for his most recent DUI arrest in Rolling Meadows just last month. After he told the judge he was unable to post the $150,000 bond, he appeared to suffer from a medical problem and was rushed to Northwest Community Hospital in Arlington Heights.

After the bond court hearing, Kolman was transferred to the Cook County Jail’s infirmary where his health likely declined, said Cmdr. Nick Pecora of the Arlington Heights Police Department.

Kolman’s car, a 1991 Lincoln, is still in police custody where it will remain until one of Kolman’s family members pays the $500 fee to get it released, Pecora said.

Dueling Headlines

People in our corner of Ohio often make fun of our local paper, and sometimes I can see their point. Sometimes the articles are not well-written or seem one-sided. But I think it’s normal to feel this way because I read an online version of a suburban Chicago newspaper, and people are always leaving comments about how this newspaper’s writing stinks. But here is a case in point from our local paper: a few weeks ago, they ran two headlines on the front page that had nothing to do with each other. In fact, they seemed to contradict each other. I think this was an example of poor journalism. They should have moved one of the stories to an inside page or saved it for another day because the front page headline was:

College on Its Way Here

And right there in the right column of the front page, was this headline:

Alcohol Deadly for Collegians

Enough said.

Thanks, But I Prefer a MA’AM-wich Post Revisited

I was checking out thesmokinggun.com and I came across a news story about a man who had an unfortunate experience at his local Subway restaurant… seems they couldn’t get his sandwich the way he wanted, so he called 911 for help – not once, not twice, but 3 times. It reminded me of the time I ranted on my blog about how I prefer sub sandwiches made by women, but apparently this fellow would not agree. Check out my original post here.

And here is the summary of the man’s Subway mishap; scroll down for the link to the actual 911 calls he made:

Florida man busted for calling 911 over improperly prepared sandwich

AUGUST 5–If you’re wondering what the guy who called 911 to complain about his Subway sandwiches looks like, well, meet Reginald Peterson. The 42-year-old Florida man became so upset last Thursday when a pair of subs “did not include ‘everything’ as he had requested,” he called Jacksonville cops “so that the police could have his sandwich made to his specifications,” according to a Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office report. Peterson, pictured in the below mug shot, was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of placing false 911 calls. A Subway employee told cops that an irate Peterson was “screaming at everyone in the business” because a worker could not seem to rectify the sandwich problem. As for the fate of the Subway grub, the sheriff’s report notes, “The sandwiches were placed in a trash can at the suspect’s request.”

Click here to listen to Peterson’s three 911 calls (MP3)

Meet Dow Jones And His Sister, Indiana

Maybe it’s because I have a daughter named Disney, but for whatever reason, these news stories about people with unusual names interest me. Here is a follow up story to the one I posted the other day about a family with the last name of Jones who named their kids Indiana and Dow…

(CNN) — When you hear the name “Indiana Jones,” you think of an archaeologist carrying an idol and dodging a giant boulder. When you hear about “Dow Jones,” you might wonder if it’s up or down that day. However, in this case, Indiana and Dow Jones are siblings, 12 and 7 years old, respectively.

Dow and Indiana Jones participate in many sporting events. Indiana says, “announcers love to say our names.”

Indiana Elizabeth Jones shared her story with the iReport community, and we spoke with her mother, Jennifer Jones. The Port Deposit, Maryland, resident says Indiana got her name simply because her husband’s family is from that state.

As for Dow Joseph Jones, there was serious talk of naming him Jack Ryan Jones, to keep the Harrison Ford theme. (Jack Ryan is the character Ford played in a series of action movies.) Instead, her husband named their son Dow on a dare while Jennifer was asleep in the hospital bed after giving birth.

She said she cried when she found out and even thought about having Dow’s name changed.

CNN.com asked users to share their unusual names after a 9-year-old New Zealand girl named Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii won the right to change her name.

Dozens of members of iReport.com community explained the stories behind their odd names, as well as what they’ve experienced in their day-to-day lives.

Some names might not seem problematic until they’re actually used on a daily basis. Open Weaver Banks of Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey (speaking of odd names), says that she shared her story with iReport.com in hopes that parents would think twice before giving their children an unusual name.

Open is an unusual name, but it’s not necessarily a name that one might expect to cause regular difficulties. Weaver Banks, however, says that she often has problems with it.

“I have a hard time using my credit cards for personal items, because clerks will accuse me of using a business card. I cannot tell my name to someone without having to explain it. Some days, it is exhausting, and I can’t even disguise the annoyance in my voice.”

Banks’ childhood was “painful” because of her name, too. “I still give my mother a hard time about the name choice, and she tries to explain that she was young, she liked how it sounded, it was 1970 and various other reasons,” she explains. “I actually tried going by another name for a year, and I realized that as much as I truly hate my name, it is embedded in me and so much a part of my experience.”

Some people avoid the use of their name altogether to avoid questions, confusion or embarrassment. “At times, for the sake of avoiding an uncomfortable conversation or throwing someone off guard, I answer to the names of ‘Mary’ or ‘Kelly’,” says Bluzette Martin of West Allis, Wisconsin. At restaurants, “the thought of putting an employee through the pain of guessing how to spell and pronounce ‘Bluzette’ just isn’t worth it to me.”

Martin was named after “Bluzette,” an up-tempo jazz waltz written by Jean “Toots” Thielemans. Despite her daily problems with this name, it certainly has its perks, like when she met Thielemans in 1987 at a club in Los Angeles. “When I met [him], he thanked my mother,” she says.

She called her mother in the middle of the night and told her that she had a surprise for her. She gave the phone to Thielemans, and he started doing his famous whistling, to the tune of “Bluzette.”

Even celebrities aren’t immune to the use of unusual names. Take boxer George Foreman’s children, all named George. (Or actor Jason Lee’s son, Pilot Inspektor, or comedian Penn Jillette’s daughter, Moxie CrimeFighter.) These are just-plain bizarre names, like that of iReporter Holden Holden.

Holden, a sophomore at Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania, says that having a double name has its pros and cons. He says he has a face people will remember because his name is easy to remember. Unfortunately, he says, he’s not very good about remembering names himself, so it can lead to some awkward moments.

Holden’s grandfather died a month before he was born but was always called by his last name as a nickname. “My last name is my mother’s maiden name, which she reverted to after she divorced,” he explains.

Holden also says that he plans to run for president in 2036. “Since my name is pretty easy to remember, it’ll be easier to garner votes that way.”

As for Dow Jones’ mother, she didn’t go through with changing his name. Now she sees it as something unique for someone with the very common last name “Jones.” And perhaps that’s the bright side to having an unusual name: It sets you apart from the crowd.

Dow’s sister doesn’t seem to mind.

“There is a new Indiana Jones movie out this year, so all my friends think it’s pretty cool,” she says.

By Henry “Hank” Hanks
CNN

Random Celebrity Death And The Sunshine State

We are very fortunate to be able to visit the Orlando area in Florida (read: Disney World!) yearly, but during our past two visits, CNN has been overrun with news of unexpected and shocking celebrity deaths. In February 2007 during our visit, the breaking news was of model/actress Anna Nicole Smith’s early demise. It was widely speculated that she was on drugs, but her death was still very surprising especially considering her 20-year-old son, Daniel Smith’s shocking death just 3 months earlier.

During our latest outing to the Sunshine State in late January of this year, it was Heath Ledger’s accidental overdose that ruled the news. At the time, I have to admit that I didn’t know exactly who he was or what movies he was in, but I did recognize what a big name he had in show business. His death took everyone by surprise; so much so, that the event completely dominated the news while we were in Florida. With gas prices the way they are, I don’t know if we’ll make it back to Orlando this October as planned; we might have to push it off until early next year in January or February or even wait until the kids are older altogether… But if we do decide to go, I’ll put out the word to watch out for a random celebrity’s unexpected passing…