I’m not entirely sure if I have posted on this event that happened about 25 years ago, but it stands out as one of those unforgettable experiences that will stay with my family forever.  It will definitely be passed on to at least the next generation.  It just happened to come up at work today as we were unloading a truck, but it made the manager shake her head in disgust and hide.  Ironically, right after relaying the tale, I pulled a case of cat litter off the track.

Anyway, for those not in the know, when I was younger I had a snow white cat named Snowball.  It was my cat and I was in charge of feeding, cleaning the litter box, etc.  I came across the kitten while outside playing and she came upon me and I had to go pet it.  Then, she followed me home much to my mother’s chagrin… she wanted NO MORE CATS in the house.  We had already had two that used all of their nine lives.  One used to enjoy leaping into the washer and going for a spin; however, this one later tried to cross the street at the wrong time.

Snowball’s demise was far more gruesome.  One summer evening, my siblings and I were home while the parents were away.  My oldest brother was doing a load of laundry.  Unbeknownst (says he) to him, the cat hopped into the dryer.  The clothes must have smothered the pleas for help or else she was ko’d shortly after start up.

My parents arrived home early the next morning and immediately called the 4 of us downstairs.  They had discovered the most awful smell anyone should ever have to experience of which we were about to be introduced.  My mother, armed with a trash bag, rubber gloves, clothes pin over her nose, handkerchief over her mouth, and shovel, opened the dryer door and started scooping it out.  This was after the idea of calling the fire department was abandoned.  The entire bag of clothes, and remains was buried in the back yard.  The next day, we went shopping for a new dryer.  Years later, we still like to bring that skeleton out of the closet 😉

I just remembered what prompted the story.  The truck driver used a power pallet jack to move the pallets around.  Everytime he used it, it sounded like a dying cat and I mentioned that I know a thing or two about dying cats.  My helper said that she knew the tale; however, the boss (who is the owner of two cats) did not.  So surprised by that, I told her the macabre tragedy.

While working today, the boss and I were doing up cheese trays for the holiday.  She asked my opinion on the festivity of her trays.  Some of them were appropriate; however, there were a few of the most attrocious looking things I have ever seen.  They kind of reminded me of some of the place settings of Liswathistan.  One had a pea green, brown, and funky looking orange scheme.  It might have been ok with a more decorative scene on it.  All the trays were covered with alluminum foil so the scheme was effectively hidden.  Diane also informed me that most of the trays had been left over from the previous owners.  Apparently, they did not like them either.  Hard to believe that it took 8-9 years to find them.  They were hidden really well.  I can’t wait to see the trays she plans to use for Christmas cheese trays.  One good thing came of this: I got to sample some hot pepper cheese (YUUUUUMMMY!)

Not so sure about the life part but the reality definitely.  I got back from Toledo Airport around 2 Thursday afternoon.  I was back at work at noon on Friday.  While there for my NINE HOUR SHIFT in which I was dressed in pants and long-sleeve shirt, I had the (mis)pleasure of purchasing a bottled version of an A&W Root Beer Float.  I was not expecting much but when I came to the bottom of the bottle, I had a remarkably queasy feeling the rest of the evening.  I certainly hope that the experience has not turned me off the real McCoy (no, not Dr. Leonard H. “Bones” McCoy).

Saturday morning, the entire town was supposed to be without power from 6AM-2PM which means that the store would not be open until 3PM.  On Thursday, the town officials announced that a generator was being installed to limit the outage to a total of two hours (one in the early morning; the other around 11AM).  This meant that the store would in fact be open for all but the hour in the middle of the day.  The people who were originally scheduled to work in the morning had made plans to be out during the outage.  So, guess who said that he would work no later than 12.  I had plans of my own.

After my shift, my good friend Megan invited me to be her guest at her brother’s wedding.  Being a Catholic ceremony I knew exactly what to expect, but since only the bride was Catholic it was not a full mass.  Mother of the groom, Carol, sang a beautiful rendition of Tracy Byrd’s Keeper of the Stars.  There was a harpist and violinist who also played beautifully.  Megan read from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.  Overall, a beautiful ceremony.

Along with the wedding came the reception.  I was momentarily apprehensive about all the people whom I would not know.  However, I was pleased to discover the friendliness and easy-going atmosphere generated by all.  And the Italian feast was delicious and filling.  Megan and I danced a lot and I met her father and step-mother and lots of her relatives and other friends so it was very fun.  I had to make my way out a little after 10 since I had to be at work at 8 the next morning.  I also reminded Carol of the package I asked her to deliver as she checked the pooches of the soon to return vacationers.  My only regret is that I failed to bring the camera I had recently acquired.

Today, I worked from 10am-4pm… not a bad shift at all… not too early and off at a decent hour.  Everything was going well until about 11:30 when the electricity flicked on and off.  It did this three times in about a five minute interval.  THEN, it flicked and did not come back on.  GREAT!!!  How long til we get to call it a day since we could not wait on anyone and could not see very far into the store without a flashlight.  I was more concerned about the meat and frozen foods.  How long do we actually wait until we have to unload that?  At least 3 hours, I was informed.  When the boss arrived at noon, I was instructed to take a flashlight to the meat room to put some chicken in bags for sale and put them in the freezer.  After that, I decided to have a bit of fun.  I took the flashlight and a stocking cap that I found and pointed the light up under my chin, thereby giving my face that extra creepy appearance.  I then waited for the boss to come back that way.  Sure enough, she jumped like 6 feet in the air.  If you can’t have a haunted house then why not make do and create some frights where and when you can.  Unfortunately, the electricity returned at about 1 o’clock.  But, we did get to look out the window at the traffic light and see how many drivers knew what to do when the lights are not working.  There were a couple close calls because some intelligent vehicle operator did not know to stop before crossing the intersection.  Not sure what caused the town-wide outage (or at least on the north side of the railroad tracks) but it made for an interesting hour,

Thursdays are the busy work days at the store.  This is the day on which we get our weekly truck of grocery, frozen, meat, and dairy.  Unlike my former place of employment at which they get multiple trucks every day.  Anyway, last Thursday was an experience.  While the truck driver was trying to move his power electrical jack, he encountered a problem: it would not work.  THAT’S A PROBLEM!

As we were waiting, our manager came along and asked what the problem was.  In my infinite wisdom, I said… “He died.”  To which she replied, “Well, that is not the first time I’ve lost someone on my shift.”

Apparently while she was working at one of our sister stores, an older gentleman had been waiting in his car a little too long.  The man’s grandson entered the store and asked if they ever checked the parking lot.  In the car, the old man had died.  I’m not sure if he was waiting for his wife to shop or why he was sitting in the car.  I’m not one to check the parking lot unless it is for loose carts at the end of the day or to help customers out with their purchases.  I guess the poor guy had been in the car for like three hours before he was found.  There was at least one other unfortunate demise at the store; however, it did not happen on Di’s shift.

The closest thing I can recall happening in my years is a young lady who decided to rush her way through cleaning the meat grinder.  Once again, this did not happen during my shift.  But I can tell you that it occurred in December a few years back.  I was on my way home from holiday shopping and saw the ambulance at the store.  Still a topic of conversation once in a while.  Or going down into the basement.  NOW THAT WOULD MAKE A GREAT ADDITION TO A HAUNTED HOUSE!!!  Just wear your boots.

Today at work, one of my fellow employees found the following grocery (?) list lying on the floor just begging to be found:

• soup base (beef)
• lettuce
• sE#- spouse only
• onion
• bananas
• applesauce
• tablet
• oil
• paper towels

Ok… I do not claim to be a genius, but I know for a fact that at least one of these items cannot be purchased in the store in which I am currently employed.  I’m not sure about the more modern, big city markets, but I’m not sure that you can purchase it anywhere in my little corner of the state (legally, anyway).  I’m not exactly sure if the customer was cooking up something special; but, it created quite a humorous afternoon (that I really appreciated today).  Even the boss had a good laugh when she came in.  Now WHO would do such a thing?  At least the customer had the foresight to include his spouse.

How many of us have ever walked around a retail store in search of an item, give up the search, and ask a store associate for assistance. Ok, admit it… everyone has (or else they are too ashamed to admit it). The other day, a customer approached me. She was not entirely sure if I was working (apparently, the huge cart with crates of milk did not convince her).

“Excuse me, do you work here?”

“Well… I think so.” (I was a bit confused)

She then asked the location of the rice. I tried to be as tactful as possible when I told her that she was standing right in front of it. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt since her back was turned to it. However, I knew she just wanted to crawl in a hole as she turned around only to come face-to-face with bags of regular rice, boxes of Minute Rice, boxes of Rice-a-Roni, and other variations on a theme.

This reminded me of another incident involving a customer who was having difficulty while searching for an item. I will never forget the time my cousin (who does read my blog) came in and asked if we sold sun-dried tomatoes. I approached the store manager at the time who looked at me with a bewildered expression and asked:

“Why the heck would I carry sun-dried tomatoes? Those would be one of the deadest items I could ever carry. I would be stuck with them for years.”

What a guy, tactful to a fault. Personality though… wet blanket (is that a term?). He was probably right, though; I don’t see sun-dried tomatoes being a big seller in our small store and they would probably sit on the shelf in danger of becoming outdated.

And from a personal observation… do they still make Spicy Guacamole Pringles (Potato CRISPS)? I asked the boss today if we could carry them. They are the best variety of the bunch (much better I am sure than the NEW DILL PICKLE variety). Unfortunately, she looked in her big ordering book and came up empty. Sorry game night fans. Verrry interrrresting… after searching on the Pringles website, I have discovered that the spicy guacamole variety is still around.

This evening, I had the pleasure of added responsibility at work. Years ago, I closed the store quite frequently (under different management, however) . Tonight, I was given a five minute refresher. Nothing Earth-shattering. Basically, make sure that everything was locked up, put away, doors locked, etc. Of course, the process was aided by the help I had. I would have felt a little insecure with someone who had not known what was expected of them; I just had to make sure that the teenage fellow did what was expected of him (I’ve been there).

During our brief moments of downtime, my co-worker and I discussed one of my favorite subjects. He asked me what my favorite part has been. My normal readers already know what that is. For the sake of one, I will refrain from going into detail (although I was once again able to break into him to the delight of my companion). We then discussed what our favorite musical to watch has been. He saw Wicked in Chicago a few years ago and said it is really awesome. He also mentioned a high school marching band show in which they performed the music of Jesus Christ Superstar (another show I would like to be in). I have to say that my favorite to watch has been Les Miserables. But there are soooo many shows that I would love to see or be in. One such show is the Stephen Sondheim musical Assassins . I suppose I could say that I have been in a small part of it. Back in my days at BGSU during an evening of montages for a musical theatre course, I performed the role of the balladeer in the song “Ballad of Booth” which features John Wilkes Booth following the assassination of President Lincoln.

Wicked Tickets at *** All Venues ***

For a period of no less than four years, a production team has been attempting to create a musical version of one of the best-loved book and television series of all time: Little House on the Prairie . Before the series ran in the mid-1970s to ’80s, it was a collection of successful novels that dramatized the life and times of its author, Laura Ingalls Wilder, who grew up with her family in the wide plains of the South Dakotan frontier during the 1800s.

The musical, which opened at the Guthrie Theatre in Minneapolis, appears to have several differences from the tv show. Gone is the fictional town of Walnut Grove and replaced with the original Wilder setting of North Dakota. The role of Harriet Olsen seems to have been altered. She is not the typical, nosy busy body, who always seemed to have a knack for causing trouble (not unlike her daughter, Nellie) portrayed to hilarious delight on screen. However, the stage show does have at least one connection to its television predecessor that you can discover by reading the article here.

Personally, I’m not entirely sure that audiences will be as receptive to the stage show with such a drastic change to one of the television series’ supporting characters. Although the books were written in the 1930s-40s, I often found the role of Mrs. Olsen to be lacking when compared to her on-screen portrayal.

decidedly not when I have been waiting for this movie for 3 years when Lieutenant James Gordon showed Batman a new villain’s calling card during the last scene of Batman Begins setting the stage for The Dark Knight that I am going to watch at 12:01AM. As I predicted, my day at work could not have gone any slower. However, there was one moment that I am sure many who work with me (and now the readers of my blog) will not let me soon forget.I was completing the transaction of a customer I have known for years. While I was doing this, she asked me a question:

“Does your wife still run the beauty shop up the street?”

I had to ask to have the question repeated, because I knew that I must have heard incorrectly She straight-faced repeated the question. To which I replied…

“Well… my MOTHER owns a beauty salon about a block north of here.”

She apologized about five times in 30 seconds while I was trying not to die from laughing. After the customer departed, I commented to the manager that I was not sure if that was a compliment or not. She just cracked up laughing and could not stop and of course she had to tell everyone she could. I realize that I just turned 35, but please let’s not add 30 years onto that. I think I got the boss to stop laughing when I told her:

“Of course if I were 30 years older, you would be the same age as I.”

For some reason, I heard very little more on the matter from her the rest of the day.Ok… now if I don’t get a nap, at least I can lie in the cool confines of my Fortress of Solitude (oh… sorry… have to wait a few more years for the Man of Steel) and relax.

Rent Batman Begins and other hits at Blockbuster.com