Over the past few years, I’ve become quite comfortable spending time by myself. I found out, with all that time, I really do like me. I’m easy company. I don’t ask for much and don’t need a lot of attention. A good book, good movie, good music, some computer time,a warm house and full belly is all I needed to be comfortable. It was much different than my life as a husband and father.

Even in that time alone, I found I did miss the human contact. I missed having someone to share my life with. More than just the companionship of close friends, I missed someone I could share the many aspects of life. It is a comfort to know I can share my joys, tears and just about every little bit of fluff I encounter with someone again. I will never under estimate the importance of idle chit-chat with another person. That sort of thing makes the world a wonderful place to live.

Due to schedules, there are evenings I spend by myself. That ‘down time’ is something I found I need. I need to keep in touch with the person I am. Even if I am doing the same things I would do other evenings, this time for self is also important to my well being. I had that before, but I never really saw the worth of it. Time alone is a relaxing ‘tune up’ for my mind and heart. It makes me easier for me to get along with others.

This time also gives me a chance to think about where I will be going with this blog. As said, the original reason for the blog has been pushed to one of the safe places. With luck, it will be a place I don’t need to look for again. Life is good, and I am a comfortable, happy camper.

So anyway on a few of these evenings on my own, I will be putting my fingers to the keyboard again, and sharing part of what I’m doing with any readers I have.

One final note for this evening…

Quick evening meal

Boneless Chicken breasts
Vegetables
Chicken stock thickened

Rice or Noodles or Bread

I wanted a quick meal this evening, and threw the above ingredients together. I guess it would be about one medium chicken breast per person with about 1 and 1/2 cups of vegetables cut into bite size pieces. I browned the chicken while I was cutting the veggies. After the chicken had browned, I removed it to cut into bite size pieces while cooking the veggies in about 1/4 to 1/2 cup thickened chicken stock (I could have some cream soup, but I had the stock). The veggies I had were broccoli, cauliflower and mushrooms, but it could be whatever you have on hand. I then added the cooked chicken and simmered for about 5 minutes. I served this over a slice of homemade bread.

Total cooking time 1/2 hour. 1 pan, one knife, one cutting board and one wooden spoon were used in preparation tonight. Minimal time, minimal mess … just what I want when I cook a meal.

It is strange how life takes many twists and turns. Just a few short years ago, was it really over 8, I was very happy. I had everything I ever thought I needed. Events changed that happiness. After that time, I had happy moments, but not really a happy life. Everything was tinged in a bit of grey. It seemed the color in my life was gone. I wasn’t sure how long that situation would last, and I really didn’t care.

Things did change over time. The happy moments became more frequent and the grey periods less dark. I was open to new things. This blog was a very instrumental part of my coming back to the world, so to speak. In it I opened my own mind to living again.

It is interesting to me to see the changes in me. I actually started looking for a way to get out and see the world again. I was surprised that during the searching, I actually found a world out there.

Through the various blog posts I opened my heart and soul to electronic world. I am glad I did, but that part of this blog has come to an end. I found that in sharing here, I was able to share in the real world. Fascinating that it turned out this way.

With less to vent about, I think I need a different direction. I have a story or two developing in my head, they may need a place to go. This blog may or may not be the spot for them. I have many other interests that I only touched on here, I may go back and visit them. There are other parts of my life vying for my attention, they do come first.

In the few years I’ve been blogging, I had 3 of 4 daughters leave high school and graduate from college (the oldest was already out on her own when I started blogging) 3 of 4 daughters were married (youngest is still single). And 3 out of 4 daughters blessed me with grandchildren. I have a busy life indeed. I met someone very special and I guess you could say I’m building a new life too. That adds to my time away from blogging.

I will be back. I guess you can look forward to more recipes, thoughts on astronomy, computers, and other things of science. I may even post a political piece or two when I really get tired of the election year.

Here is to starting on a different path….

I guess it has been a while since I’ve posted anything here. I guess I’ve been a bit lax at keeping up anything resembling a blog. Life has been a bit busy recently.

Life seems to get in the way of my random thinking. I guess that right now my original purpose for writing this blog has not been needed. My mind doesn’t seem to require a weekly emptying. So I guess I will be taking this blog in a new direction. As soon as I figure out exactly what that direction is, I will continue to blog.

I will keep you posted…

I’ve been thinking recently about friends and friendship. I value my friends and value my close friends highly. If it is within my abilities, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for a friend. Now there are some questionable activities that I won’t consider, but if asked for, or neede, I try to be there for my friends.

I have a few very close friends, a few close friends and then there are friends that I think I should get to know better. Generally, once I decide someone is a friend, to me they will always be my friend. The only consideration, is how close of a friend are they.

I’ve often wondered how others make the determination of a close friend, but I know how I do it. Should be obvious that a person should know how they determine who is a friend and who isn’t, but in the age a Facebook, friends seem to be something to count instead of count on.

My friends are people I trust. I trust them with my secrets, I trust them with my children, I trust them with me. How much trust I give, depends on how trustworthy I deem a person to be. This can change over time, but when the trust is lost, it is difficult do regain.

I wrote something on Facebook that I think is appropriate for this post.

We never really know the depth of our friendships, until we trust our friends when we are in something really deep.

I was going to say “when we are in deep shit.”, but that didn’t sound as philosophical to me. So my thoughts were already in the trust area weren’t they?

And today I wrote

A friend will stand with you when others are against you. A real friend will know what to do with the bodies.

Not really a realistic statement for most people, but in the humor lies the real depths that friendship can take. A friend isn’t always trying to stay on your good side, but they should be willing to have your back, even when you are wrong. If you are wrong, expect them to kick your backside when it needs it. That is one of the true marks of friendship.

I’ve developed a sense of gratitude for facebook. I startered using it just to make contact with my children, but I’ve noticed that there are times it puts me in a thoughtful mood.

Case in point, a question was brought up today: “If you could go back 20 years in your life, would you?”.

I’ve asked myself that question, or one similar many times in my life. I always give it the same answer. I like who I am. I like where I am. My past made me who I am and took me to the where I am. I can’t change the past without changing me. So, no thank you. I’ll stick to the past that was.

Of course, this is all conjecture. There isn’t a way to get to the past. And even if you got there could you be sure the changes you made would be better for you and all involved. I know that I couldn’t be sure.

My life has been filled with joy and saddness. I’ve done some incredibly stupid things, and have had some flashes of brilliance. Without the saddness, the joy would be less intense. Without the mistakes, the good choices would be lost in history. Because of the differences, things stand out. They shine and become things to strive toward. They become part of the greater picture.

I have said that I am the product of my past. My past made me who I am. But the best thing of all is this: If I don’t like who I am or where I’m at, I don’t need to go back in time to change anything. I can start now and change the person I will be tomorrow.

For the past week I’ve been limping along on my sore foot. Silly injury caused by yours truly. I’m still hoping that this makes me a bit more careful while doing household chores, but only time will tell.

I had play rehearsal tonight and I limped my way through the paces. I desperately need to get the script out of my hands. Time is moving quickly, and the show will be here before I can blink twice.

It does have the makings of a very good show. I’m looking forward to having an audience. It has been a while since I’ve felt that way about a show I’ve been in.

In other areas, things have been changing. Life is getting interesting. I do believe I like the changes. It should be fun.

And one other different thing this September, the Tigers are doing very well. Right now they look to be playoff bound. I’m looking forward to it.

I don’t usually have the need to visit the local hospitals, especially for myself. As far as an unexpected trip to the hospital, or emergency room has been years. The last time, I think I was 4. I really dont remember it. So almost 50 years later, I was back for more stitches. Last time was my head, this time my foot. So I’ve had stitches from top to bottom.

WHAT!! I went to the emergency room? I didn’t call my kids? Yes to the first, no to the second. Why not? Why didn’t I let anyone know? Well, the first part is that I was hurt. Serious enough to warrant some stitches, but not life or limb threatening. If push had come to shove, I would have been able to drive myself to the hospital. Luckily, I was with someone who could drive. Trip to hospital taken care of.

The emergency room staff were very pleasant and efficient. I was in very good hands. A little clean up, some pain killer, and 4 stitches later, I was out and on my way. My plans for the day were shot, but I will be back to doing what needs to be done soon. I can’t really complain.

So after 200 words, I have yet to say exactly what happened. The best I can come up with is that I used tools without the proper equipment. Canvas deck shoes were not made to stop a sharp axe. My foot was able to stop it, but only after suffering some damage. My good work boots would have stopped the blow with ease. After years of working with tools, I failed to follow the simplest of rules. Dress properly. Be prepared for those accidents. Use the proper safety gear. Hmm, you would think I didn’t know any better. I guess even at my age, one can live and learn. At least I hope I can.

The weather has been wonderful. The visit with my daughter’s family delightful. The first meeting between grandpa and granddaughter fantastic.

There haven’t been any trips to major theme parks. Nothing special planned. Days come and go just like at home. I am enjoying my visit. I get to spend time with my family.

That was written back in August, during my visit with the Florida family. It has been almost a month since those words have been thought of. I really enjoyed my trip, and I miss everyone I saw when I was down there. I know my little granddaughter is growing quickly, it is usually a given for babies. The other grandchildren have slowed there growing pace, but they will be different the next time I see them. Families grow, change and develop at their own pace. A new pathway in life is open to them.

Here in NW Ohio, the changes in life usually happen at a slower pace. My children are grown, they have their lives, and I have been set in my ways for many years.

I’ve recently have written about change. Those who know me realize that I was taking a reflective approach to the changes occurring in my life. I’ve written about love and relationships. Those again, were posts reflecting things going on in my life. And here I am today, focused on changes that have occurred and will continue to occur. Today life is good, and the future is full of promise. In my opinion, it is good to be me. I haven’t said that often recently, but today I can say it. I’m looking forward to what life has in store for me.

I just returned from a wonderful visit to Florida. I enjoyed my time with my family, and got to meet the newest member of said family. Even though I’ve only been gone a few days, I miss them all.

I would like to know why I always seem to have problems with my truck on the way home. It seems like every time I’ve travelled that road something bad happens to my truck. Stones hitting the windshield, battery going bad, problems with the driver’s side window and finally some engine problems. This coincidense just about doubles the cost of each trip.

This trip it was a problem with acceleration. I had hoped that it was only bad gasoline, but that was not the cause. Final cost on this has yet to be realized, since they still have my truck in the shop. It seems like I’m waiting for parts again.

I guess I really shouldn’t complain too much. That truck and I have been through a lot together. After almost 7 years and 196000 miles, I still like that truck. As far as vehicles go, it has been one of my better investments. I should be able to get at least another 50,000 or so on it. I sure hope so.

Anyway, back to the thoughts on my trip. I was able to spend some time with my family both in Florida and in South Carolina. I am fortunate that my sister lives halfway between Florida and Ohio. This gives me an opportunity to visit my big sister a little more often than I usually would. Family is very important to me and any time I can spend with sisters, children and grandchildren is a big plus in my book.

Bittersweet: Producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure.

That is one of the definitions of this word and the topic of this post.

In June, my life started heading in a new direction. A lot has happened in the past few weeks. Most of the events were extremely pleasant, but there is a touch of saddness involved.

I am now in the middle of a growing relationship. The wonderful time learning how two people can fit their lives together has been occupying a good portion of my days. I must admit that the start of the journey is most enjoyable. I am looking forward the continuation of the time we have had. But other things took me away from the experience.

I had a trip partially planned for quite some time. A daughter and her husband were expecting their first child together. After the birth, my departure to the sunny south was a certainty. I made this trip alone. The preceding sentence is filled with sadness. I could not take any of my children, or another special someone with me.

I got to Florida and was able to hold my newest granddaughter for the first time. As with all of my grandchildren, it was love at first sight. The only difference is that with this little girl, I was able to see her weeks after her birth, not the years needed for my daughters to meet their husbands and the children that came with them. My thought as I held her was how sad it was that her maternal grandmother could not be here to see her. Another bittersweet moment.

I’ve been spending time with my family, and the older two grandchildren went to spend the weekend with their birth mother. Time for them to bond with another parent, sometimes life can be so complicated for our young. There will be a few days without their smiles in the morning. I am grateful for any time I spend with them.

In a few short days I will again be on the road. I will be leaving behind a family that I love dearly, and going back to the rest of my family that I love with equal passion. I am torn with leaving, but I am looking forward to seeing the others again.

I am also looking forward to spending more time getting to know someone new in my life. We have grown quite fond of each others company. It is a very good feeling. That is tinged with another bittersweet feeling. The history of our lives and why we were able to meet and start a relationship has some sadness and pain. There were difficult times in the past, and these experiences will influence our futures. It will be a journey of learning for both of us.

Bittersweet: Producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure… A taste that is both bitter and sweet…

As long as the bitter and the sweet do not overwhelm the senses, this feeling or taste can be a fulfilling experience. Our lives are filled with these types of feelings. We must learn to take everything we can from these situations. They are part of life and they make it worth living.