The Graduation and Wedding days are fast approaching. There was an award banquet, and during the weekend one of my daughter’s wedding showers. Since my oldest threw the shindig, I got to drive my youngest to the party. I was supposed to have a day playing laser tag, but that was canceled. Too bad.

I’ve been a bit tired the past couple of weeks. Sometimes I wonder why. Then I think again and I’m wondering how I can spend as many hours awake as I do. Maybe things will so down, or not.

I have been able to get some ‘down time’ in. I’ve seen a couple of movies and was able to see the current play at WCCT. I’ve been listening to some ball games. I spent some time with friends and family. That is all good.

I’ve read that taylhis will be taking a bit of a blogging break, I guess I’ve been doing the same thing. I do want to keep some of my readers up to date on the various events with my girls, so I have some things I will need to blog about. So maybe not a total break. Star Trek review coming up….

If the two previous posts weren’t enough to give it away, I thought I might just let everyone know. Yes, I’ve been thinking. A dangerous pastime.

There are a number of things driving the thought processes at this time. My children have either grown up and moved out, or are growing up and moving out soon (youngest is a senior in high school). Out of 4 daughters, number 3 will be getting married very soon (How did I miss that?). A good friend of mine lost his son (about the same age as my oldest daughter). It is spring and review time at work. I’m sure there are a couple of other things that I’ve misplaced from my brain.

All in all, I’ve been a bit busy, but today was a slow day. Not a lot planned, but things fell into place. A time for reflective thought. Good, bad or indifferent. Today was a day for thinking. Even the weather was cooperative. Rainy weather is always good for thinking.

And think I did. As far as I can tell, nothing dangerous has happened yet. 😉

When planning a vacation, you can decide where you want to go and then find the best way to get there. Of course, you may want to get places to stay reserved for the trip. This sometimes makes the trip easier on the nerves.

Or you can one day decide to go on vacation and just drive. When you see something you want to investigate, you can stop and visit. When you get tired, you can find a place to stay. When hungry, you stop and eat. All off the cuff and unplanned. But what happens when there is no place to stay, or anywhere to eat. The whole trip can be easy, but a bit of nervousness when you need a place to stay.

It is much easier today to ‘plan’ that second style of vacation. With cell phones, computers and GPS units you can make hotel reservations for the end of the day and take off in the direction of your hotel. You can still make unscheduled stops, following a general direction.

But what about a journey where you don’t know exactly where you are going? You don’t know how you will get there. You do not know the path you need to take. You don’t know if you will have a place to rest for the night, or even enough food for the day. Would you want to take that journey?

What would you say if I said you were already on that journey? If you are among the living, you are taking that journey. No matter how well you think your life is mapped out, the path you will take, and the outcome of that journey is all up in the air.

Think back 5, 10 or 15 years. I remember in interviews always being asked where do you expect to be in 5 years. As far as I remember any of the answers, I am not, and never have been where I thought I would be. My priorities changed, life intervened, things happened. Are you where you thought you would be? Is the path you took, the one you had planned?

Where do I want to be in 5 years? What do I want to do in 10? I honestly don’t know. I am taking what life gives me right now. I work, I have fun and sometimes I relax. Plans we make can fall by the wayside very quickly. I don’t know my path, but I will make it my own. Will there be a place to stay at the end of the day? I certainly hope so. If not, I plan to be resourceful enough to make my own place.

I’ve had some good news. I’ve had some not so good news. I’ve had some bad news. For 20 years I would go home and discuss the events of the day with my wife. After 5+ years of being widowed, I still miss that time. Talking about the same things with my daughters or friends just doesn’t give the same feelings. Funny how some things just hit me.

My logical and analytical side has been thinking about that very thing the past couple of weeks. Deaths, upcoming family events, things at work have been in the front of my mind recently. Every one of these events would have be part of the evening discussions. What was so special about those discussions? ‘Twas a puzzlement, but I did figure some things out.

1) Depth of personal involvement. On top of being Husband and Wife, we were best friends. We just enjoyed being together. Anything we did was better when we were together. Trying times a bit less trying. Good times were always better. We were very compatible.

2) We did not agree on everything. I was logical and thoughtful, she was more emotional and reacted with her feelings. I was often slow to react to things. Discussions with her made me think of things differently. It was sort of an instant ‘out of the box’ experience. I never had to come up with another way of looking at things, she was there to do for me, and I did it for her. We were complimentary.

3) Depth of feelings and empathy. We knew each other very well. We shared our deepest thoughts and emotions from almost the beginning of our time together. She knew that I would often have a ‘delayed’ reaction to something. I knew that the reaction she was having could have been triggered by a unrelated event. In some ways we were truly one.

Over the past few years, I’ve learned to be on my own again. I became comfortable with myself as an individual. Even when some of my friends see me as a appendage to one of my daughters (or the other way around), I am just me. For 20 years it was J and S (… S and J?), now it is justj. The meaning and reason behind my blog-name comes to light, and that is a good a place to stop as any.

Things have been up and down these past few days for me. Semi-enjoyable day Saturday with the filming of the Clinic (see posts from others). Very nice evening Sunday watching my daughter in her show choir. Monday I was able to ‘Save the Day’ by delivering some Fruit Loops… 😉 However, (you saw this coming with the title) things aren’t good.

A good friend’s son died over the weekend. Young with his whole life ahead of him. Sad, so very sad. The other thing in my life that happened isn’t for blogging.

There are times when things just seem to stack up, and this is one of them. Up then down. Down then up. Mini Roller Coaster compared to other times in my life, but uncomfortable anyway.

Just my time to vent a bit.

Strange isn’t it, melancholy is such a lovely sounding word for pensive moods or depression. A good word for any vocabulary. This feeling of melancholy is not such a lovely feeling. The early Anglo-French word originally meant ‘Black Bile’. This is from a ‘humor’ secreted by the spleen or kidneys that control or influenced our emotions.

For various reasons, that feeling of melancholy is upon me today. More a pensive state than anything else. I’m in a position with no solution. Being a guy, I have the innate desire to ‘fix’ things. Somethings just can’t be ‘fixed’. So the feeling of melancholy on me.

I guess that is life.

Today was an eventful day, and deserves a long involved post. It will take a bit of time to set the correct tone.

So on to more trivial things.

Baseball season: All I can say is I hope things turn around for the Tigers. 1 game out of 4? Ouch! The Cubs are doing better, so that is something. But there are a few things more important than the scores of games and who is in first place. jamiahsh puts the whole thing in perspective. I don’t think there is much I can add.

Friends: It is good to have them. They help in many ways. Sometimes they don’t realize how much they do help. But I guess sometimes I don’t realize how much I help them. It goes both ways doesn’t it?

News: Pirates should only be discussed in Baseball terms, movies and plays. Hearing about pirates attacking merchant ships and having world governments bargaining with them is not right. That type of ‘handling’ of the situation only gives them reason to keep doing what they are doing. So I guess crime pays. Something isn’t right here, but then life is not fair is it?

Movies: Soon the summer block buster season starts. I’m looking forward to seeing a few good ones.

Today, I didn’t forget to help at the theater. Yesterday I did. Time slipped away from me. I would like to say prior commitments prevented me, but I was back in time to help out. I just forgot. Time passed me by.

Now I look at the clock and see it well past time to get some sleep. But I was working on some video editing and sleep won’t come.

Life is all about change. And my life is changing. Time ticks down the events of my life and the life of my friends and family. My family is growing again. For those who don’t know, I ‘adopt’ each of my daughters’ husbands. They are my sons. The good part about this is that they are grown sons, and I don’t have to ‘raise’ them. As long as they treat my daughters with respect, I will treat them as one of my family. Some may say this is an honor, it could also be a curse. Talk to my daughters sometime. I expect a lot from them, and have rarely been disappointed. I’ve always felt that they have made their ways in life because of what was expected of them. I always wanted them to give their best effort in the things they do. Never perfection (that is almost unattainable, until you inherit it. 😉 family joke), but to give their best. I now expect that from my sons (and the ‘future’ son). That way I can expect the ‘best’ for their growing families.

Time, it slips by and things change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Life is what you can make it, or so I’ve been told. Time slips by, and things stay they same.

Or an April Fools’ joke. You be the judge

Sick Sea Turtle Checks into Animal Hospital

I really liked the story, and I would think turtles have some intelligence. If this turtle had been treated there before, it knew enough to go back. But today is April Fools’ Day. I tend to take every Odd news or too good to be true news with a skeptics eye today. I didn’t see the regular April fool notes in the story, but there was mention of some other famous turtles. Hmm, it has me thinking.

I also saw a site for a Helicopter Hotel. The link may be gone now, because it was an honest April Fools’ Joke.

I haven’t seen much else. But I am keeping my eyes open today.

Can this family have much more excitement?

The current list (as it stands now 😉 )

1) 4th Daughter heads out for Show Choir Competition in April.
2) 4th Daughter’s High School graduation in May.
3) 3rd Daughter’s Wedding in June — Play I was in is going to regional competition 🙁 I can’t make it.
4) Family Vacation???
5) 4th Daughter Starts College in August
7) 1st Daughter’s first child due in September

OK what else is can happen? I’m not sure. With the way this year is going, I’m sure there will be something. My life tends to get more complicated, not less.

Could ‘The Lion in Winter’ Go to State competition? I would love that. It was a good part and I would like to play it again…

Weddings, Graduations, College, Birth. I can remember when that was me. It wasn’t that long ago was it.

Of course, I’m sure there will be more medical testing now that I’m 50. That will take some time won’t it. And the fun part is, I don’t know when or what those will be right now. Depends on how the tests go doesn’t it?

What is life without adventure, it looks like I have my days filled with it.