There were some things I wanted to get done today, but with the weather, they just aren’t going to get done. I guess I will blog.

I wrote a post some time in the past called 1 a lonely number?. If the numbering scheme is accurate, it was blog post number 4. This was about 3 years ago. I just saw a reply to it. It was a spam reply, but I read it anyway. The spambot was able to tell I was alone and my wife was no longer with me. It failed to pick up on the word “widower”, and went into an detailed scheme to get my wife back. Of course they were trying to sell some counseling service, but I really don’t think that any of the suggestions would work. Sad state if affairs when the spambot misses a very important word. If they could have picked up on that I may have pushed it through. It was almost a thoughtful post. Today it just made me chuckle.

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For some reason I keep reading “Funky Winkerbean”. Relationship between a widower and divorcee. Today, with all the thought balloons was very thought provoking. Funny how people think. Too many times we “think” we know how someone else is feeling, too many times we are very wrong. To quote from a Moody Blues song: “Say what you mean, mean what you say. Think about the words you are using.” Words to live by, if you have the fortitude.

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This wave of showers and storms seems to be finished. More on the way? I need to get to a store this evening, so I may do that soon.

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I had an interesting conversation with my eldest and her husband a couple of weekends ago. May be the stuff of a blog, now that I can. One comment that came out of it, but was not part of the original conversation has me thinking. For your consideration: “A person can never have too many caring friends in their life.”. Discuss.

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That is all for now. More stuff and nonsense in a day or two.

While traversing through the world of Facebook this morning I came across a status that got me thinking again. Thanks!!

How do you know when you’ve met the “one”?

Now I came back with my first rough answer, but the question got me thinking. Once this started I knew that i would have a blog post by some time this evening.

First let’s start with the meaning of the “one”. Most people would take that to be a life partner. Someone you could spend the rest of your days with. Usually people have the underlying thought that this should be a good relationship. And one would think that with a name such as “the one”, it would be a fairly rare occurrence. It has to be hard to find “the one”, doesn’t it? I certainly hope not, and I don’t think so.

So just what is required? From my experience, I think you have to be open to finding a relationship. You may or may not be actively looking, but you have to be actively open to one. I think this is the hardest thing to do, because to really be open, you have to give a little more of yourself if you ever expect to find a relationship. The people you are looking for the relationship with also have to be open to one. Finding out who those people are can also be a difficult task.

So, you’ve taken that first step. You decided to give it a go. You find someone you are interested in, and it seems like they are interested in you. Is that the one? Maybe. Yes, maybe! Right from the start? Yes, right from that very first meeting. BUT (notice that is a big but), you need to take the time to learn about each other. How much time depends on a lot of things, but it could be days, months or years. Yes, it can and does vary that much.

How do you know, when is it apparent? I think that all happens when BOTH (see the highly important both here?) of you can answer the following questions with a big YES.

1) Can we talk about anything? No subject is taboo? Are you comfortable when conversing on all subjects?
This one is a big deal. If you can’t open up in a conversation, can you open up in other areas?

2) Do similar interests? Do you have fun doing the same things?
Basically asking are you compatible in life.

3) Do you have different interests? Are you willing to share or accept the differences? Are you willing to let each other have the time for activities outside of what you do together?
How bad are your green-eyed monsters. Jealousy destroys many relationships.

4) Are you willing to die for each other? Are you both willing to put the other first?
Just asking, how much are you willing to give. If you’re not willing to give everything you have, I don’t feel you found your “One”. I don’t mean you have to die for each other, but the willingness needs to be there.

Good, fulfilling relationships are about giving and receiving. Not give and take. Each person gives to the best of their ability and resources. Each person receives in kind. There should never be an expectation of getting something back when you do something for each other. In doing this you find that part of your giving, is making sure that neither gives too much. As with most things in life, balance is very important. When two people decide that they want this kind of relationship, then they have found their “ones”.

So far April has been a time for family. I was able to see all of my daughters at one time. This is rather difficult since one of them lives in Florida. I wish we would have had time for dinner together, but that did not happen. Time seems to get in the way. Lives have to be lived. My daughters are now all adults (even the youngest WOW!), so they have their own priorities. Of course they had their priorities when they were younger, but let’s just say thier parents’ priorities overruled the wishes of the children. Now, as adults, they have more to say on what they do. This is as it should be. I may not like the choices they make, but they need to make their own way.

The hardest thing for a parent to do is let his/her children live their own lives as adults. I no longer have final approval on their activities. I can no longer press my will on them. I do let them know what I think. I’ve never been shy about that with them. I will give my advice when asked, or if I really feel it is needed. The choice to follow it, is theirs. I try not to intrude, as I say they are all adults.

Those thoughts filled the early days of April. It seemed just as my daughter and her family headed back to Florida, they two youngest were in a play. I spent most of two weekends at the theater watching them sing and dance. Family members from near and far came to see the show. I was happy to see all of them at the show. So far, April has been a time for family, and it will continue next week for Easter. As I get older, it seems that family becomes more important than it was before. Of course, the very thought of family becoming more important to me would not have made much sense 10-15 years ago. I always held my family as important. It just seems that I found that sense of importance grows every year.

It was wonderful to see all the family I did. I’m sorry I missed seeing a few. And I miss the many who are no longer with us.

Hold your family to your heart. Treat each meeting with love and respect, as you will never know when you will see them next.

I’m have a lot of things flowing through my brain this evening. Instead of what I was going to write about, I have to say just a little bit about a sad little grey donkey.

If you’ve read Milne’s Pooh stories, you know that Eeyore is a sad little donkey. It always seems that there is a dark cloud hanging over his head. He had nobody to remember him on his birthday, until he said something about it. He lost his tail. He was bounced into a river. And he didn’t have a house during a snowstorm.

Only Eeyore could see the benefit of a broken balloon, the fact that there wasn’t a earthquake during the snowstorm. But in all this, he was very happy to have his tail back. A useful item just made for swishing about.

May you find good in all things, optimism during dark times, and have something to swish around just for fun.

This past weekend was the start of actual baseball Spring training games. As a moderately avid fan, I take a bit of interest in these early games. It makes no difference as to the win or the lose portion at this point in time. i just like to see if it looks like my favorite teams will have a good year or not.

Too early to tell yet. Starting pitchers are still stretching out. First the 2 inning games, then maybe 3 innings, ect. Starters from the year before will get a couple of at bats before they are taken out to see the younger ‘talent’. It is at this time of the year, when you can see possible future hall of famers work out with the big league squads. You also see the veterans trying for one more shot at making a big league team.

I’ve been told, but have yet to experience, that spring training is a fan’s wonderland. The players are accessible, and tickets to games are inexpensive. Some camps even have open training sessions.

Someday I will make that journey. I will head south in the later parts of February to March. Maybe I will watch a game or two, or just spend a day walking around a ball field. A day in the sun, visiting a bit of spring in the fading days of winter.

Well not anymore. The birthday is officially over now. I’m older, I have my new license and sticker for the truck. Everything nice and legal.

I had dinner with a couple of my daughters. I had some me time (much needed). I got to talk with some very interesting people. I met a few friends. A good day.

I’ve never been one to put much into hitting a certain age on a birthday. I’ve hit the big 50 a couple of years ago, and honestly it didn’t bother me much. Age and getting older doesn’t happen in one day. I’m no longer in my 20’s, but the difference between now and then didn’t happen overnight.

The gray hairs that I have, I earned. They didn’t come in on a specific birthday, they came in one by one. The daily complaints of my muscles and joints came in the same way. My eyes didn’t start needing glasses to read when I put down a book and picked up the next one. Slowly, ever so slowly we change.

We don’t have crystal balls to tell us how long we will stay around this little blue ball in space, so I could be way past middle age, or maybe just hitting it. Living to 104 really isn’t that crazy of an idea. A lot more people do that these days. I could have something happen tomorrow, or next week. I don’t know,, and I really don’t care I get up in the morning (or sometimes after late night gaming sessions the afternoon), and go about my routine. I like life and living. And that makes it a joy to be here.

I really need to thank a friend for the inspiration behind this post. A simple facebook question, “If you had one wish?” Implied, of course, is what would it be?

Should I wish for “One More Day” like Diamond Rio? Should I wish for a big lottery winner? Peace on Earth? More wishes? As the Disney Studio so aptly put in the movie “Aladin” are there limits on wishes? No wishing for more wishes? No wishing for raising the dead? No wishing for someone to love you?

There have been many stories about wishes. The wish granter always seemed to turn the words of the wishee to something that just didn’t fill the general tone of the initial wish. That genie in the lamp, or the selling of your soul to the devil, either way, these two seemed to have fun with the game of words when wishes were granted. True, they followed the letter of the wish, but maybe not the intent.

So I guess, you have to be very careful with your wishes. Things may not turn out the way your dreams envision. Asking for too much could ruin whatever happiness you have now. Changing your life style may not give you the things you desired. Wishing to go back in time may actually make things worse than they are now. Wishes, if available, could be very powerful things for good or ill.

It is fun to dream about winning that lottery, seeing lost loved ones, finding that perfect person, getting all of those other wishes, but in the end it is a dream.

My wish, after thinking about all of this is very simple. I wish to live my life to the best of my ability, and be surrounded by friends and family who make life worth living. The best thing about this, is that wish already came true.

According to the Wiktionary (or probably some dictionary) Status Quo is “…, a commonly used form of the original Latin “statu quo” – literally “the state in which” – is a Latin term meaning the current or existing state of affairs.” Of course if you want to keep things just the way they are, you would be keeping the Status Quo.

I find this to be a strange state of affairs myself. As much as I like things to stay the same, I also like some changes in my life. I have my own “comfort zone”. When everything falls in my comfort zone, I am a very happy camper.

There are times when my comfort zone changes. Some are forced changes. Those things that I have no control of. These things have to be accounted for and adapted to. For me, depending on the severity of the change, I can be moody or down right depressed during those time. How long they last also depends on the severity of the change.

At other times, the changes are less dramatic, and mostly in my control. I actually look forward to some of these changes. They prevent life from getting too boring. They add zest. My comfort zone shifts just a little bit. Most things are the same with one or two things added or subtracted. In that I grow, learn, live and enjoy my life.

My life is currently in one of those less dramatic comfort zone changes. Mostly in my control, but not everything. I’ve had more than my share of unalterable changes, so this is a welcome relief.

Here is to living in a comfort zone, that doesn’t believe in the Status Quo.

Yes, there was blowing and drifting snow. Yes the conditions for NW Ohio were miserable. The roads needed to be cleared, and people needed to be safe.

The local stores were picked bare by people in a panic. For one day worth of storm.

Yes, this storm could have been bigger. Other areas were hit harder. But unlike the last Big blizzard that still has people talking, we were well informed. The road crews were ready. Schools and businesses were prepared. And then we got the snow.

Not much, but enough to make life a bit troublesome when it was combined with high winds. Back in the woods, I wasn’t even cooped up for 24 hours. We would have been able to get out by noon today. Not that I would have wanted to, but we could have.

Back in 1978, people were house bound for days. I remember helping get food to people stranded in and around Defiance Ohio. People with Snowmobiles, 4WD vehicles, tractors and one guy with a dune-buggy VW helped get things and people where they needed to be. I’m sure that if this storm had packed the same punch, the reaction would have been the same.

Still waiting, and hopefully this will be a long wait, for the next big storm.

I’m usually very good at remembering dates. I don’t always remember to do something on the dates, but I do remember them. Kids’ birthdays, sure, and if I think about it I can remember the years. Siblings’ birthdays, yep all of them A few other birthdays yep. First crushes birthday, now why would I remember that? First serious girlfriend? Yep, got that. So I really have no trouble remember this date at all. But as there is one half of the interested party missing from the celebration, the day brings a touch of sadness with it now.

Today would have been 27 years of marital life. I have no doubt that those would have been 27 good years too. Today, I remember. Today, I may shed a tear or two. Today, I may smile at some inner thought. Today, i remember that it has been 7 years without her.

Without her, I would never have been the person I am. Our love changed who we were, but let us reach who we were supposed to be.

SJO 1962-2003 Always in my heart.