Bittersweet

Bittersweet: Producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure.

That is one of the definitions of this word and the topic of this post.

In June, my life started heading in a new direction. A lot has happened in the past few weeks. Most of the events were extremely pleasant, but there is a touch of saddness involved.

I am now in the middle of a growing relationship. The wonderful time learning how two people can fit their lives together has been occupying a good portion of my days. I must admit that the start of the journey is most enjoyable. I am looking forward the continuation of the time we have had. But other things took me away from the experience.

I had a trip partially planned for quite some time. A daughter and her husband were expecting their first child together. After the birth, my departure to the sunny south was a certainty. I made this trip alone. The preceding sentence is filled with sadness. I could not take any of my children, or another special someone with me.

I got to Florida and was able to hold my newest granddaughter for the first time. As with all of my grandchildren, it was love at first sight. The only difference is that with this little girl, I was able to see her weeks after her birth, not the years needed for my daughters to meet their husbands and the children that came with them. My thought as I held her was how sad it was that her maternal grandmother could not be here to see her. Another bittersweet moment.

I’ve been spending time with my family, and the older two grandchildren went to spend the weekend with their birth mother. Time for them to bond with another parent, sometimes life can be so complicated for our young. There will be a few days without their smiles in the morning. I am grateful for any time I spend with them.

In a few short days I will again be on the road. I will be leaving behind a family that I love dearly, and going back to the rest of my family that I love with equal passion. I am torn with leaving, but I am looking forward to seeing the others again.

I am also looking forward to spending more time getting to know someone new in my life. We have grown quite fond of each others company. It is a very good feeling. That is tinged with another bittersweet feeling. The history of our lives and why we were able to meet and start a relationship has some sadness and pain. There were difficult times in the past, and these experiences will influence our futures. It will be a journey of learning for both of us.

Bittersweet: Producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure… A taste that is both bitter and sweet…

As long as the bitter and the sweet do not overwhelm the senses, this feeling or taste can be a fulfilling experience. Our lives are filled with these types of feelings. We must learn to take everything we can from these situations. They are part of life and they make it worth living.

justj

jamiahsh

July 31, 2011 at 9:30 am

May the sweet sensations be more plentiful than the bitter. But glad that you did get to spend time with your newest addition.

susan lutz

July 31, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow. and he answered:

your joy is your sorrow unmasked. and the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was often times filled with your tears. and how else can it be?
the deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? and is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
when you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
when you are sorrowfull look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow”, and other say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
but i say unto you, they are inseparable. together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
when the treasure-kepper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.