As many of you may have found out the hard way, today is April Fool’s Day.  Thankfully, I was the victim of only two pranks, and one I kind of figured out…  But the other one came out of left field and went something like this: my 9-year-old daughter comes up to me and says, “Mom, Christopher (her 8-month-old brother) is bleeding!”  She said it nonchalantly, but come on, something like that would just strike an instinctual panic button in any parent!  So I dropped what I was doing and ran into the living room, and she let me off the hook – April Fool’s!

Obviously this type of prank is not cool, and my daughter and I had a little chat about the inappropriateness of jokes involving injury  (I did tell her it was a good one though, since she didn’t know anything about prank etiquette when she thought of it).

But for future reference, I don’t make a very good prank victim anyway.  I tend to be gullible in the first place, so I’m easy to get.  And when I’m not being gullible, I’m cynical, so I might be paranoid I’m getting “got” or at least lied to.  And most importantly, if you do get me, depending on the severity of the prank, I might get mad at you – I guess I don’t like to be fooled…   So consider this your warning, and catch me on April Fool’s Day next year – at your own risk!

I had to share this funny little story because something our almost 5-year-old daughter Sammie said the other day had my husband and I in stitches.  She calls out from the bathroom – “Dad!  I have to go poop but I can’t…    Oh, nevermind!”

Hmmm, now that I’m reading it, it’s not quite as funny.  I guess you had to hear her little 4-year-old voice call it out.  Kids are so adorable with their bluntness.  And I’m just glad that Sammie was able to solve her own problem!

My husband and I were in charge of our local community theater’s version of the Oscars ceremony (ours is called The Willies™), so it was our responsibility to organize the skits, songs, and entertainment for the fun evening in December.  In doing so, we needed to borrow a specific camera which played a prop in a very funny show that was staged in our community theater last year.  My friend had borrowed the camera from her workplace, so I asked her if we could use it for a skit in the awards show and she obliged.  She couldn’t make it to the awards show, and I still haven’t gotten the camera back to her.  Through a series of email exchanges about how to get her the camera back, she came up with an idea:  why not just drop it off at her husband’s workplace – which is only 2 blocks away from my house – rather than drive the camera all the way out to her house in the country.  Great idea, I told her, and I meant it… until I found myself walking into the county courthouse carrying an ominous large silver metal case.

Turns out, my friend’s husband works in the county’s adult probation department, and so now I’m walking around the courthouse with something that looks, well, extremely fishy to say the least.  My husband was with me, thank goodness, and I was glad to have the moral support because of the many strange stares we received…  We found her husband’s office, and when you enter the adult probation department, there is a counter with a bulletproof glass above it.  So evidently, they tend to be skeptical of their visitors to begin with, and now here we are with our peculiarly large metal case.  We asked to see my friend’s husband (he knows us at least), but as luck would have it, he was out to lunch.  “Can we just leave it here?” we were forced to ask, prompting a very skeptical probation officer to ask, “Is it ticking?”  I started thinking about those signs they have at the airport that explain how joking about bombs or explosives is a felony offense, so I bit my lip, worried I might accidentally utter some sort of lame quip that would get us into deep trouble.  My husband opened up the case and showed them what was inside…  just a camera, we swear!

Not really a big deal, but a funny experience nonetheless.  Had we been in a bigger city, we might have been thrown to the floor and cuffed – it really was a shady looking case, and I can’t blame people for being a little cautious and apprehensive about it, especially in this day and age.

So thanks for saving me the trip out to the country, Dawn, but honestly, I don’t think either of us thought this idea through…  unless you were setting me up to get some sort of hidden camera prank footage, maybe to be shown at next year’s Willie Awards™?  🙂

Laughter is a connection between all humans. We all laugh. And it appears that we have been laughing at the same types of things for years and years.. I found this list of the ten oldest jokes. Some were funny, some not so funny. I haven’t toured the whole site so I don’t know how kid friendly it is, but that page was OK.

It does remind me of a story I read years ago. A scientist was studying humor and came to the conclusion that it was part of an extra-terrestrial project. I just can’t remember who wrote the story or where/when I found it. The conclusions in that story were a bit different than the oldest jokes though… I’ll have to find it know and share the author/story title.

Just one joke, but an interesting one.  Yes, even Christians can laugh at jokes about hell.  As usual, I claim no ownership whatsoever of this stuff I dredge up on the ‘net:

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, “why do airplanes fly?” on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: “Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof.”

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

“First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, “that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you” and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true…Thus, hell is exothermic.”

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

I’m too tired to blog today, so here are a few jokes off the ‘net.  Hopefully tomorrow I will have a real post for you.  Enjoy!

A lesson about blood flow and circulation

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.”

A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”

————————————————–

Kids’ Perspective

Kids’ Views on School

“I can’t read, I can’t write – and they won’t let me talk!”

————————————————–

On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, “What did you do at school today?”

The perplexed child looked at his father and said, “Daddy, didn’t you go to school when you were a little boy?”

————————————————–

The homework schedule

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.

10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.

Two things I was looking forward to watching today turned out to be disappointing.  The first, a new horror movie in theaters called “The Ruins“, I wouldn’t classify as a bad movie.  It was entertaining, at least…  I say that a lot about movies, I know.  But if they hold my attention, aren’t boring (like The Night Listener), and don’t disgust me too much (like Doomsday), then I generally don’t consider the movie a waste of my time because I really like watching movies, spending time with my husband, and I just overall enjoy the movie theater going experience.

But as far as horror movies go, “The Ruins” is not my idea of a good one.  I won’t even go into the acting skills; it’s so unimportant when talking about this kind of movie.  No one stood out as horrible or unwatchable, and that’s all that matters in a movie like this.  I did lose a side bet with Hubby about whether or not one of the actors was also in the Texas Chainsaw remake – he was – but no matter, I really wasn’t too sure about it anyway.  The premise was interesting; 4 twentsters (people in their early twenties.  Hey, I just made that up because as far as I’m concerned, many of them still act like teens, might as well give them a goofy name to go with their attitudes.  Maybe it’ll catch on…) on vacation in Mexico follow this German guy (actor with a fake accent.  Why they couldn’t just find a German actor is beyond me, but whatever) they just met on a trek miles into the jungle to see some ancient ruins.  When they get there, they end up trapped on top of the pyramid thing by the natives who believe the ruins are cursed.  That’s basically it.  The movie was pretty fast-paced, however, once I realized that the “monster” of this horror movie was plant life, somehow it wasn’t very scary…  Also, everything creepy was already shown in the previews – I HATE when they do that to movies!  None of the characters were very likable, so when some met their demise, it wasn’t all that shocking nor disappointing.  I don’t know why the movie was rated R – I’ve seen much scarier PG13 movies, they could have cut out the nude scene, and the gore in this movie was all (POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT – IF YOU CARE) mercy limb cutting.  I was thinking the movie could redeem itself with a good resolution, but that was not to be.  I can’t see any replay value of this movie.  Worth seeing once but not again.  One good thing though, it didn’t have you leaving the theater feeling like crap about humanity, like Doomsday or some other movies I’ve seen – that’s always a plus.

On to disappointment #2 – Secret Talents of the Stars.  A show about “celebrities” – and some people who call themselves celebrities who I’ve never heard of – who try their hand at other talents than what they’ve become famous doing.  What was I thinking you ask?  What would this shameless attempt at yet another celebrity reality show have that made me want to watch it?  The answer – hype.  It was hyped so much that I actually fell for it.  And I really wanted to see Clint Black (I’ll forgive you this once if you don’t know he’s a major country music star) attempt stand-up comedy.  That was until I actually saw Clint Black attempt stand-up comedy.  Not very funny.  And the show seems fixed too…  ok, what show like this isn’t, but still….  the “judges” all loved Clint Black’s comedy…  probably because he was the most hyped star of the show, and they wanted to make sure he’d be in the semi-finals.  And then there was George Takei, of former Star Trek fame, now most famous for coming out of the closet, sad to say that has overshadowed his years on Star Trek, but I for one had never heard of him before he came out…  So, in between several obvious and Clint Black-ish (meaning not very good) type gay jokes, George sang “On the Road Again”, originally by Willie Nelson.  And if you don’t know who that is, you’re on your own, I’m not going to spell it out for you!  Needless to say, he butchered it and got kicked out of the show – big surprise.  The other 2 contestants tonight – Sasha Cohen and a singer called just Mya, were trying for talents that were somewhat related to their profession anyway – something I did not think was fair.  Figure skater Cohen was being an acrobat, while singer/entertainer Mya was tap-dancing!  The show is stupid, the format is obvious, the judges lines are scripted…  but why will I be watching next week?  Another country music star, Jo dee Mesina will be trying her hand at something other than country music and rehab.  Low blow there, and I apologize…  it’s late, and I seem a wee bit crabby, maybe I should have gone to bed instead of staying up until 11 to watch this dumb show… 

Yet another April Fool’s Day surprise awaited us when we got home tonight…  seems the newest addition to the family is a little jokester.  Our dog Beesley, who we’ve had for almost a month now, is an escape artist.  We have a little mud room in the back of the house that leads to the garage, and if we don’t lock the dogs out of it, Beesley can push open the door leading to the garage and escape.  Apparently, tonight was one of those nights when we forgot to make sure the dogs were locked out of the mud room because when we got home and opened the garage to pull the car in, out runs Beesley.  We corralled her into the car, and that’s when we saw it – a HUGE mountain of garbage in the middle of the garage, along with several smaller hills of doggie-doo.  Seems during her great escape into the garage, she decided to tear apart the garbage that was in there waiting for garbage day.  Of course, being a family of 5, we have lots of garbage, including lots of dirty diapers.  Seems little Beesley had herself such a feast that she immediately had to add doggie-doo to the mess without waiting for us to come home and let her outside to do her business.  Compounding our luck had this happening on a Tuesday, which is only 2 days before garbage day, so we had just about as much garbage out there as was possible.  I’ve been trying to convince Hubby that we need to buy one of those mega garbage cans just to store our garbage in until garbage day ever since the local squirrels discovered we have a parrot who discards nuts into our garbage.  They sneak into the garage constantly and tear little holes in the garbage bags to get at the nuts.  But at least they’re dainty about it, which is more than I can say for Beesley.  It’s just difficult to justify spending money on something that you’re going to put garbage into – it’s like literally throwing money away…  or the reverse actually, but still…  maybe now we’ll be able to justify that expense a little better.  April Fool’s – Beesley style – YUCK!

And a side note about April Fool’s Day from our local paper.  No one knows how April Fool’s Day came about.  There’s a theory that it originated when the Gregorian Calender was adopted in the 1500’s.  Seems there were a few folks stubborn about adopting the change of New Year’s Day from April 1 to January 1, so others made fun of them, pranked them, and sent them on fool’s errands, hence the origin of April Fool’s Day.  That is just a theory however, but equally amusing and NOT just a theory is how the country of Scotland celebrates April 1st.  Apparently Scottish April Fool’s Day jokes often focus on the buttocks and the day is known as Taily Day.  According to our local paper, the “butts” of the Taily Day jokes are known as April “Gowk” which is another name for Cuckoo bird, and it’s believed the ole “kick me” sign gag originated with these Scottish customs.  I think I’ll stick with good old April Fool’s Day, thanks, though this year in our house, I guess you could call it Taily Day!

And that means that April Fool’s Day is tomorrow…

I’ve always like this day, since I have a very gullible daughter. My tricks on her are infamous in family discussions. I’m searching my devious little brain right now trying to come up with another trick or more that I can pull on anyone of my daughters.

I also have to think of a prank or two to pull on people at work.. Can’t be too bad, or I’ll get in trouble.

Anyone know of any good gags, pranks, tricks?

I’ll post if I am able to pull anything off tomorrow. Be on your guard if I know you… You will never know if a prank is in your future..