Seems like it’s been a long time since my last griping-about-Walmart blog post.  Either I’m getting used to their secretive price-gauging ways, or I’m too busy in my personal life to spend as much time feeling wronged by the corporate giant.  Maybe it’s a little of both.  But a few weeks ago, a couple of Walmart employees made themselves worth mentioning on my blog for their roles in turning a normally hectic pre-Christmas nighttime shopping trip with 4 little kids into quite an irritating adventure.

After wandering past empty shelf upon empty shelf and compromising my shopping list due to all of the out-of-stock items there were (and I’m talking everyday items, nothing gourmet nor exotic), my frustrations were growing.  But finally I was finished in the grocery section, so I split off from my family and headed for the garden center.  It might seem like a strange time of year to get those cement garden-border-blocks, but they are just over $1 at Walmart, so I use them as a cost effective way to keep my puppy from digging holes under our fence.  He digs a hole, I stick in a Walmart cement brick and solve the problem for under $1.50 – done.  It won’t be long until I have a pretty little brick fence bordering my chain link fence.  Except that my puppy dug a hole the other day, and just because it was December in Ohio (never mind the thunderstorms and rain we’ve been having), Walmart decided that they are going to lock up their cement bricks in the outdoor garden section and not let customers back there to get them.  I get back there and find the door to the outside blocked with a bench (so THAT’S where they’re putting the benches they removed from the entire store.  Why Walmart decided to make seating scarce in their store is beyond me.  Don’t shoppers stay longer and spend more money if there is a place to rest their feet?  Don’t they want to come back to a store that lets them rest while their shopping companion goes at it?  But that’s a whole ‘nother post, I guess, even if I entertained the tangent).  So anyway, I hunt down  an employee and ask her about the cement bricks, and she tells me that the garden center is closed for the night and to come back another day.  And this is AFTER I’ve already spent almost 2 hours in the store, wandering amongst empty shelves that it seems they don’t know how to stock.  It was difficult to explain to her that I had come there that night with all my kids and that this would not be happening again any time soon.  Take a bunch of kids into a store that sells toys that time of year if you want to know how draining it can be – go on, I dare you to borrow some kids and do it next year.  But the bottom line is, Ms. Walmart employee was not nice when she told me to come back another time, and she didn’t offer to go back there or have someone else get me a brick or two or anything.  She acted like we were both just stuck there in Walmart, and if she could deal with it, so could I.  But guess what?  She is GETTING paid to be there, while I have to PAY to be there – see the difference?  She did not.

So what’s with the Walmart policy of selling an item but not letting customers buy it?  Are they hoarding cement bricks to build a top-secret Walmart price-gouging planning party fortress or something?  Well, I was crabby that night, but I was not going to cause a scene; I don’t like to be the scene-causing type.  I had some good advice from a fellow tangenteer floating around in my head, “Walmart employees are people too”, so I got over it and moved on.  But by the time the second Walmart employee wronged me that night, I was really mad…  The woman at the check-out did not want to take our coupon, even though it was clearly for the item we purchased.  Not even worth writing about now; I might as well move on to the incident that inspired the title of this post – thought I would throw an amusing Walmart story into my grab bag of gripes…

I had to run to Walmart on New Year’s Eve.  Yes, New Year’s Eve, the day when even our normally not-so-full rural Walmart is filled to the brim with people who can’t wait to get where they’re going to stuff themselves, get drunk or do both at the same time.  The mood in Walmart was festive, but I couldn’t find a parking spot.  I opted for one a mile away, especially because the weather decided it wanted to be more like May than December; it was in the 50s.  I’m picking up some last minute New Year’s goodies, and I notice that the mixed shelled nuts are on sale for only $1 /pound.  Cracking fresh nuts is one of my favorite ways to  snack – hold comments on this please, this isn’t Facebook, it’s a mostly family-friendly blog 🙂  – nuts are nutritious, one of the natural foods I believe the human body is meant to consume, plus I have a monster parrot that loves them.  So I called Hubby, and he told me to buy 30 pounds.  By the time I got done putting 30 pounds of nuts into sacks (still holding on the comments), my little boy had bitten through an orange I was going to buy (I put it back instead –  haha, just kidding, I had to buy the dehydrated orange at the end of the trip), and I had fielded the same exact question from at least two different people: “What are you going to do with all those nuts?”  I had some conversations about my parrot and my 4 kids, and then I had had enough and wanted out.  Here’s the funny part.

We returned to our friendly local Walmart on January 2, and my husband runs in and finds the same nuts for now only a quarter a pound!!  I’m not going to think about how much money I could have saved, not going to do that; it’s not the funny part.  At a quarter a pound, they were out of the nuts, so my husband asked an employee if they had any more (wait, the 30 pounds I bought weren’t enough?) to which he replied, “No, some lady came in here on New Year’s Eve and bought most of them for all of her cats.”  My husband thinks that somehow my stories of us having a nut-eating pet parrot turned into Crazy Cat Lady Buys Nuts among our local Walmart employees, and that’s ok with me – I could be crazy cat lady.  If only I weren’t allergic to cats…

Happy holidays from me and Walmart!

I used to think that parrots had a secret pact to make fun of the many asinine humans who idiotically blurt, “Polly want a cracker?”  every time they spot one of the beautiful birds.  I’m not sure from where the custom originated, but I always thought it was a stupid, albeit irresistible, thing to say to a bird.  But that sentiment changed last week when I actually offered our Scarlet Macaw a saltine cracker – he acted like it was the best thing he ever ate!  He even learned the word “cracker” and was uttering it by the end of the day.  And come to think of it, they have a Scarlet Macaw at a local pet store, and one of her favorite words is also “cracker”.  So next time you see a big bird and you feel the temptation to say, “Polly want a cracker?”  be prepared to fulfill what that bird probably considers a promise!

Just for fun, here is the earliest known reference to “Polly want a cracker” from 1937 – I dig how the mom parrot is a housewife complete with apron – clearly before the feminist movement 😉

I was right about something – I said it was going to be a great weekend and it was, even now, Sunday afternoon, when it’s time for the Easter comedown the kids get when their sugar highs from all that candy wear off!

We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary (again!) Friday night with a game night, and as usual, we had lots of fun!  Without announcing it to anyone, I decided to have a sort of Mexican theme, which simply meant making a taco dip and margaritas.  It’s not like I usually have themes for game night; I just happened to read a recipe for the taco dip earlier in the week, then we almost got the kids a snow cone machine which inspired the margaritas.  Even though we didn’t get the snow cone machine, my husband said we have a little device that crushes ice; except when it came time for the margaritas, he decided he didn’t want to crush the ice, and we ended up with glasses full of crushed popsicles (?) instead.  So anyway, I don’t remember telling any of my friends it was Mexican game night, but about 4 of them showed up with salsa and/or taco dip!  When the last person arrived a little late and brought salsa, we gave her a standing ovation – hey, most of us are theater people; it seemed like the thing to do!  I forgot to mention that before the game night, we went to Walmart where they had an Easter bunny to visit.  My youngest daughter was afraid of him, so that explains how I got in the picture:

Saturday the community theater had their first-ever Easter egg hunt.  We were actually going to go to the drive-thru zoo / safari park in Port Clinton, Ohio, but we decided to stay and support the theater’s egg hunt instead.  And that was a great decision – the egg hunt was a blast!  There were organized games for the older kids while the toddlers hunted, but our little 2 ½ year old daughter, Disney, was a little shy about picking up the eggs.  The eggs had prizes in them, ranging from candy to tickets for large prizes to coin dollars – and Disney got one of those!  The older kids enjoyed a  variety of games; including a relay race where they were to race to a table and finish two boxes of Peeps – no hands allowed!  It was a riot!

The kids enjoyed doing an actual egg hunt, unlike at our town’s annual Easter egg hunt where they’ve resorted to throwing candy on the floor of the middle school gym rather than try to plan around the weather every year and do it at a playground where they can actually hide the candy.  They even sold lunch, which  was great because after the hunt, we were ready to take off for the zoo and the kids had already been fed!

So we got to the Toledo Zoo and it was a little less than two hours before closing, so we had to pick and choose exhibits to see.  Our oldest daughter really enjoys the Aquarium, so we began in there, and made our way around the back half of the zoo, ending with the great apes.  The orangutans were bedding down for the night, and the gorillas were eating – allowing for some great up close views since a few of them chose eating perches right in front of the viewing glass.  Because the weather is getting nicer, many animals were outside, and we enjoyed activity from the tigers and sloth bears – one of which is our “friend” and enjoys smelling us through the glass and playing with dangling car keys and hats.  My favorite animal of the day were the hippos – the Toledo Zoo has full-size, humongous hippos (not the smaller pygmy variety found in many zoos), and Saturday they were hungry!  The keeper had them cordoned off while he put out their food, and we got to watch as he let them at it, one by one.  The poor hippo who had to wait got anxious and was opening his mouth really wide and rolling over in the water – hippo version of begging, I guess…  but after seeing that huge animal charge and buck in the water like that made me realize just how dangerous a boat ride on the Nile River would be!

The zoo closed, so we went to a few of my favorite types of stores – $1 stores, which was lucky I thought because I was sure they would close around 6ish on a Saturday.  I thought I remembered that about stores from my youth – I remember being disappointed about not being able to stay at the mall later on Saturdays…  but I’m glad I was wrong and they were open until 9 because I was able to stock up on some snacks and birthday party goodie bag trinkets for our soon-to-be 5-year-old’s upcoming party.  When we got home, I was dead tired, but I did catch  the end of an awesome Chicago Cubs game before playing Easter bunny.  The Cubs came from behind the Milwaukee Brewers to tie up the game and then win it with an Alfonso Soriano home run – that guy is on fire this year!!  We got the kids’ Easter baskets ready and hid the non-perishable eggs and went to bed.

Sunday we let our baby wake us – usually my husband wakes with the baby and lets me and the other kids sleep in when possible.  But today I wanted to be up in time to hide the real eggs, so we put our two youngest in the bath, started the coffee, and began hiding eggs.  But not soon after, our oldest starting coming down the stairs, so we had to re-direct her and give her a “job” to do upstairs while we finished so she wouldn’t see us.  We had a great time, but my camera’s battery died, so I don’t have any pictures of that…

Then it was off to church to learn about the real reason we celebrate Easter (how did coloring eggs get involved anyway?  Maybe something to look up later when the kids are in bed and the Cubs are creaming the Brewers!).  I never get bored at church, but I do get awfully tired – today my coffee wore off despite the energizing music and the pastor’s entertaining sermon involving hot dogs and Jesus, of course!  I guess I just get so relaxed since I don’t have to worry about any of the kids for an hour – that’s a good thing!  We did go to bed late last night though…  maybe I’ll catch a nap while the kids play Easter bunny to their pets.  They are hiding carrots in plastic eggs for their rats and hiding dog treats in eggs for their dogs.  The bird got a new toy also, but he screamed at me while I was doing laundry again, so he’s back on the sh*t list.  My friend is running an ‘ugly pet contest’ for a play she’s in, and I think I’m going to enter the bird for revenge – he’s molting and his feathers are nappy right now – HA!

Happy Easter everyone!

What sets him off?  Everything under the sun and even the sun itself.  I’m talking about our lovely scarlet macaw parrot.  I would not recommend these things as pets for ANYONE – it’s true when they say that wild animals cannot be tamed!  Why we have our bird is a long story, and it’s not important now because we’re stuck with him.  I’m not one to just “get rid” of pets unless the circumstances are extreme.  It’s a pet peeve (pun intended) of mine when people get animals and then discard them just because they’re sick of taking responsibility for them.  And in a way (though I can’t dwell on this right now because I’m extremely upset with Squawky – who really lives up to his name), I love our parrot and wouldn’t want to curse see him go to another home.

So that brings me to the point of this post – parrots scream constantly.  They might be beautiful to look at, but their ear-splitting screams are beyond annoying.  They’re unstoppable and headache-producing, and more than once, our parrot’s screams have made our kids cry.  We’ve adjusted our lifestyle to avoid his upsetting the kids, and for the most part that works; it seems to be me who feels the brunt of the negative parrot side effects.  Thank goodness we were able to move into a bigger house a few years ago where Squawky was given his own room.  Unfortunately, he shares the laundry room, and since somehow I was voted the family laundry-doer (gender?), it seems that Squawky’s screaming affects me the most.  I cannot do laundry during the day because I can’t bring my young children in the laundry room  with me.  I  do have a basket of toys in there, and they enjoy playing in there because there’s lots of light and a nice soft carpet to lay on.  But we get screamed at by the parrot.  By nighttime, I’m too tired to do all the laundry, so much of the time, I’m left to worry about when to do it.  Ideally, I’d do some here and there in between kids’ lunches, naps, diaper changes and my errands, but then the parrot gets all riled up and screams me right out of the laundry room.

I looked to the Internet for advice, and one site suggested noting his “triggers”.  What sets him off and makes him scream?  Making the list of his triggers hasn’t helped, however.  It’s only made me see that getting screamed out of the laundry room seems unavoidable.  Here are his triggers (if you’re thinking about getting a pet parrot, use this list as reasons on why you should NOT):

the sunrise or light of any kind – it’s a parrot’s natural instinct to be quiet in the dark so predators won’t find them.  But heavy drapes and a sheet over his cage do not block out all the light during the day, and it’s really difficult to do laundry at night in the dark – believe me I’ve tried more than once!

yelling – any yelling in the house gets him going – kids fighting, kids having fun, just raising our voices to hear each other when we’re in separate parts of the house.  He especially likes it when I yell at him for yelling!

singing – if my husband is in a show and needs to practice, everyone has to leave.  And not because my husband is a bad singer – he’s actually very talented.  But the bird will join in, and HE is a BAD singer!

talking on the phone – any time anyone is on the phone, the bird thinks we’re calling out for him I guess, but he takes it upon himself to yell.  So I can forget folding laundry while talking on the phone, which was a great way to pass the time while doing this boring task.

having his door open – closing his door not only muffles his screaming, but it makes him scream less for some reason

something he likes on tv – he has a tv in his room, which was put in there for me to watch while doing laundry.  But I can forget about hearing anything on the tv while I’m in there, thanks to the parrot.  Sometimes Animal Planet or his favorite show, The Price Is Right makes him scream along with the audience.

happiness – if he’s happy, he will get rowdy and play and scream.

anger – if he’s upset about not getting enough attention, he will scream.

hunger – if he’s hungry, he will scream.

thirst – if he’s thirsty, he will scream.

dogs barking – if our 2 dogs bark, which they do at least 4 times per day, the bird will join right in and scream.

So, I guess for now I’ve decided that the laundry must be a family affair.  I’ve gotten upset several times about this same issue and came to this conclusion before, but it’s never worked.  My husband works during the day, and at night, we’re usually  busy or the kids have their own chores or homework to do, so my getting help with the laundry has not been a consistent solution.  The other thing we’ve thought of is to move the parrot out of the laundry room, but if you look at my list of Squawky’s triggers, you’ll see that he must be in a room with a door, which eliminates the other spare room we have on the first floor because it’s doorless.  I can’t imagine that he’d do any better on the second floor closer to the bedrooms either.  The laundry room is right below my bedroom so once he gets going in the morning, I can usually forget about sleeping in anyway.

Well, I guess I’m done venting for now.  I have a good hour to catch up on laundry since we have a meeting tonight and we took the kids to the babysitters early, so I have to make it productive.  I guess I will have to blast my ipod and leave my husband to fend for himself on his business call…  Well, it is HIS bird after all!

Here’s a picture of the jerk:

Don’t let his cuteness fool you.  This is actually a “baby” picture.  He’s much more obnoxious looking now!

Once again, we have a bit of a food chain residing as pets in our home.  When my cat passed away a year ago now, it left a hole in our household food chain.  Although it’s not quite as balanced as it was when the cat was here, today we find ourselves with a small zoo nonetheless.  Here is the roll call of pets in our house:

Charity – almost 11-year-old female Jack (Jerk) Russell Terrier / Australian Shepard mix with one blue eye and one brown eye.  An extremely feisty but lovable loudmouth who doesn’t hesitate to let you know what she wants, when she wants it.  Will even growl for petting!  World’s worst puppy = World’s best family dog.

Beesly – nearly 7-year-old cocker spaniel mix with extremely thick fur.  We once shaved her and to our astonishment, she became a much smaller dog because her fur is so thick!  She really likes it outdoors, and we call her nordic (of or pertaining to the north, where it’s cold) because she doesn’t seem to mind the cold at all – probably can’t feel it through that blanket of fur!  We adopted her from the humane society in March 2008, and we’re SO glad!  GREAT with kids and an extreme snuggler.  The only problem we have with her is her nasty dog breath!  Oh, and her uncanny ability to escape.  She can open doors and can somehow (repeatedly, not just a fluke!) unhook her way off of 2 dog chains at the same time!  Luckily for us, she always comes back.

Squawky – an 8-year-old Scarlet Macaw parrot.  After living with him for 7 years, I do not recommend parrots as pets!  He screams (and I mean ear-splitting) constantly – a repairman once asked us if we had a pterodactyl behind the door after hearing him scream.  But he is beautiful and drops gorgeous feathers all the time.  And having him has been an awesome learning experience for us and the kids.  He can talk and is very curious about everything.  His vocabulary includes: hi, here kitty kitty, hi bird, and sometimes he just mumbles nonsense that sounds like human words.  In his spare time, Squawky likes to watch The Price is Right and Animal Planet.

Oreo – one of our new rat additions.  He is gray and white and smaller than Bobby Jack.  He seems a little more curious and less picky about food than Bobby Jack.  Had a close call with Charity this morning.

Bobby Jack – off-white colored rat who doesn’t like his rat food.  He enjoys many of the treats we’ve given him, especially junk food.  Just after we got them, he was the snugglier of the two, but I think he was just tired from his journey home from the pet store because now he’s as hyper and curious as his brother Oreo.  They are 5 weeks old, and so far, we would agree that rats make great pets!  They don’t bite like gerbils and hamsters, and they don’t scurry like mice.  They are fairly clean animals who groom a lot, are very intelligent and easily trainable.  I think one of the reasons they’re not popular pets to have is because of their super-short lifespans, about 1.5-3 years only.  🙁

Francis – the ladybug I found that became my new pet before I had the rats.  I put him in a bug catcher, and then he went MIA.  Good news – today I found him.  Turns out, there was a little pocket in the bug catcher where he was hiding.  I would check the bug catcher every now and then, and today I saw that he had re-emerged from hiding!

No Name – another ladybug I found in the house.  I won’t kill any bugs I find unless they’re mosquitos – and how I enjoy killing those things!  But any other bug I try to set free, and I just can’t send ladybugs out into the Ohio wilderness to freeze to death.  No Name is in a little container in the kitchen…  I wonder what would happen if I put him in with Francis?

Mally – Ok, she’s no longer part of our family physically, but we will always remember her.  Since I mentioned her earlier, I thought I’d put her on the list.  She was a 10-year-old inbred farm cat.  My husband and I were in college, and we drove all the way out to a farm to get a kitten after reading an ad in the newspaper.  By the time we got there, we wanted a cat so badly that we got one even though the owners said the mother cat had mated with a boy from a previous litter, which is how Mally came to be.  Because of this, she was never ‘quite right’, and was always the size of a kitten.  We named her Malice as a joke, but we always called her Mally.  I was her world, and she hid from everyone else, prompting family and friends alike to joke about our “invisible cat”.  But she existed, I swear, and she was very sweet, at least with me.  She liked to lie on my pregnant belly and would ‘groom’ my hair.  I miss her a lot and wish I could get another cat, but I’m allergic.  I was allergic to Mally, but there was no way I was going to get rid of her.  I got her before any of my kids were born, and so I doted upon her and spoiled her while my husband was working in the wee beginning of our days together.  For those of you who never saw her, here is my little cat:

What a frenzied way to start off the shortened week after a 3 day weekend – it was Pet Day at my oldest daughter’s school today.  So this morning saw us trying to unload a parrot, a 19-month-old little girl and a dog from the car, all while trying to get the other dog to stay in the car – it must’ve made for a funny scene.  We had to bring our “veteran” dog with in the car since the other pets got to go out, but she was not invited into the classroom because of her nervousness around kids.  So while she stayed in the car, Squawky the parrot and Beesley the dog visited a classroom full of 2nd graders.

It went surprisingly well!  And we were very impressed with our normally shy daughter, who got up in front of her whole class to tell about her pets.  She shared information about them, and patiently called on individuals from her class and answered their questions.  Neither pet had any accidents in the classroom, and the kids seemed to really enjoy seeing and learning about the animals.  Squawky got shy and wouldn’t talk for the kids of course, he never does, though he did yell out “HI!” when we entered the school – wonder if anyone heard that or what they thought it was?  He enjoyed himself, didn’t bite any of my husband’s fingers off, and returned home in time for a relaxing perch in front of The Price is Right.  Beesley loved being around all those kids, I think her only problem was being on a leash so she couldn’t be let loose to turn onto her back and let them all pet her at once.

Now, should we try Pet Day at the preschool with my younger daughter?  I wonder how a roomful of 3-5 year olds would handle the parrot and vice-versa…  I will let you know if I get brave enough to attempt that one!

I had a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend.  We decided to celebrate Saturday in order to avoid the crowds at all the restaurants and other establishments; also it worked out well because my kids often need all of Sunday as a rest day to recooperate from the previous week and the weekend before returning to school on Monday.  So, I slept in Saturday until I was awakened by the idyllic crow of a rooster…  wait a minute… we do live in a rural area, but that was no rooster – it was a screaming parrot and it wasn’t the least bit idyllic, just horribly annoying and not a fun way to get woken up.  But, it was nearing 10 am, and I figured I had left poor dad with the kids long enough.

I was making myself some oatmeal for breakfast when I was greeted in the kitchen by cute little girl #1.  “Happy Mother’s Day Mom!”, she said, and gave me a stuffed animal she had found in her room.  I find the re-gifting really cute; it’s her way of sharing what she has and also displays her thoughtfulness in wanting to get me something but being too little to go out shopping on her own.  She also gave me the most adorable essay she wrote in school – I will share, though it’s much cuter to see it in 8-year-old handwriting:

Happy Mother’s Day!  I love my mommy for many different reasons.  One reason is that sometimes she gives me what I want at the store.  Another reason is that she helps me do stuff around the house like make soft crunchy cookies.  The last reason is she lets me have fun a lot like at the park!  I think that my mommy is triffic, wonder ful, and vary funny.  by Taylor

Daughter #2 was next, and she handed me a singing gorilla from her room.  “Happy Val-tine’s Day, Mom!”, she said, hugging my leg.  She is almost 4 and apparently forgot the name of the day, only remembering that she was supposed to give me something and be well-behaved, but that’s all that mattered to me!  Don’t be fooled, however…  they are not perfect angels ALL of the time – my kids’ Mother’s Day sweetness was promptly followed by a HUGE knock-down, drag-out, screaming at the top of their lungs fight…  The first of many throughout the weekend.  We still had a great time though – my husband always does a great job of keeping his cool which is more than I can say for myself…  but there was something going on with my oldest this weekend, and it showed!

Next, we decided to go to a neighboring city to go swimming in a hotel – my husband can get GREAT hotel rates online for most places, and the overnight getaway was exciting for the kids and around the same price as driving somewhere far away (insert gas price gripe here) and spending $ for other entertainment.  Besides, being in the water felt WONDERFUL for my aching pregnant body…  I would love to have access to a pool during a whole pregnancy sometime; it’s amazing how the sensations of all the aches, pains, and extra weight just melt away when under the water.  The kids had a great time, and we all got some exercise also, plus when we got home on Sunday, they all took at least a 2 hour nap – can’t put a price on that!  My husband of course, catered to their needs all day too, so really I got a whole Mother’s Day weekend out of it – 2 days when I was supposed to get 1!  I only hope I feel up to it enough to give my husband as great a Father’s Day as I got a Mother’s Day.  But since I’ll be even more pregnant by then, we might have to reschedule…  ever heard of Father’s Day in August?  😉 

RECAP:  My favorite kitchen tool (can you tell I’m not a gourmet cook?), my retractable permanent marker aka Sharpie, went missing.

UPDATE:  Just when I had given up and assumed that my toddler had thrown it in the garbage, it turned up in the unlikliest of places (of course).  It was in the laundry room, in the cabinet next to the parrot’s cage where we keep all his toys and stuff – go figure.  Wonder how it got there?  Sadly, it was left un-retracted, so it is of no use to me anymore.  But at least we have closure and it had a proper burial.  No more wondering which kid was going to turn up with permanent markings all over them.  And, a thoughtful reader of my blog was kind enough to surprise me with a 2-pack of replacement COLOR retractable Sharpies – thanks Mom 😉

We had an Oscar party last night.  It was a lot of fun!  We asked the guests to bring a $5 item from home they would have put in a garage sale.  Everyone filled out a ballot, and whoever got the most correct guesses (my husband out of sheer luck, can you believe it?  He doesn’t know anything about the Oscars!  Congratulations Honey!) chose an item first, followed by the person with the next most correct guesses, and so on.  So, we got a cool looking food chopper.  Haven’t tried it yet…  I didn’t do too badly on the guessing, I got to choose fourth…  but I was disappointed because the item I really wanted (needed, actually) had been taken by then…  but I am happy with the food chopper, I’ll have to see how it works.  What I really wanted were the set of metal padlocks, it sounds weird, I know…  but we have this escaping parrot who needs all the doors on his cage padlocked – there are 3 – and he can bite thru plastic padlocks.  The other day he got out of his cage and chewed the light switch plate off the wall…  so I’m afraid we’re going to come home one day to fried parrot.  But, who would have guessed that the padlocks would be in such high demand.  Not my husband, who did get to choose first but thought the padlocks would be left for me to choose, so instead he chose the food chopper for me – awww.  But I really recommend doing award show parties, sports-watching parties, etc. this way, it’s lots of fun, and it’s really interesting to see what kind of stuff you end up with.

But enough about us and our party, let’s move on to the real party…  I didn’t really see any of the red carpet this year – oh darn – cuz we were busy playing a game and then we watched Barbara Walters interviews, which I don’t usually watch.  I did see Hillary Swank, who I mistook for Halle Berry – don’t know what that was about, but she looked really different, barely recognizable.  I thought the show was supposed to start at 8, but it started closer to 9, which could explain why our poor friends were stuck here until midnight on a work night!  I thought Jon Stewart did pretty well as host.  He was pretty funny, but my favorite Oscars host is Ellen – I really wish they’d have her back.  I got 8 of the 24 votable categories correct.  Not an outstanding score, but among our party of about 10, I think it was about average.  The only award contenders I saw this year were Gone Baby Gone and Juno.  See one of my previous posts for a review of Gone Baby Gone and you’ll see why I wasn’t broken up about it losing out on its Oscar chance.  I was glad to see Juno win for one of the screenplay awards – it was a really well written movie, and I recommend it to anyone who is not a teen.  If you have a teen, watch out, and do not let them see this movie, as it totally glorifies teen pregnancy, makes it seem easy, and will most likely have them saying, what’s the big deal, I can handle it, no problem.  Enough of my rambling, here are the Oscar winners in case you can’t find them anywhere else for some weird reason:

Best Motion Picture: “No Country for Old Men.”

Lead Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, “There Will Be Blood.”

Lead Actress: Marion Cotillard, “La Vie en Rose.”

Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, “No Country for Old Men.”

Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton, “Michael Clayton.”

Director: Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men.”

Foreign Language Film: “The Counterfeiters,” Austria.

Adapted Screenplay: Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men.”

Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, “Juno.”

Animated Feature Film: “Ratatouille.”

Art Direction: “Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.”

Cinematography: “There Will Be Blood.”

Sound Mixing: “The Bourne Ultimatum.”

Sound Editing: “The Bourne Ultimatum.”

Original Score: “Atonement,” Dario Marianelli.

Original Song: “Falling Slowly” from “Once,” Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova.

Costume: “Elizabeth: The Golden Age.”

Documentary Feature: “Taxi to the Dark Side.”

Documentary Short Subject: “Freeheld.”

Film Editing: “The Bourne Ultimatum.”

Makeup: “La Vie en Rose.”

Animated Short Film: “Peter & the Wolf.”

Live Action Short Film: “Le Mozart des Pickpockets (‘The Mozart of Pickpockets’).”

Visual Effects: “The Golden Compass.”

You know I’m not going to finish that sentence…  if you’ve seen Happy Gilmore, you know how it ends, anyway.  If not, rent it if you like comedies, it’s a good one.  In case you haven’t noticed, I watch a lot of tv.  Actually, I don’t really watch it, I just leave it on to listen to while I putter around the house doing various chores and tending to children all day…  it’s nice to hear adults talking, even if they aren’t talking to me – I can pretend.  Anyway, I usually have The Price is Right on in my laundry room for my parrot – it’s his favorite show.  He likes to imitate the AWWW noise the audience makes when they get something wrong.  I’m getting used to Drew Carey.  He’s no Bob Barker, but he is finally becoming less nervous and getting in the groove of the show – or so I thought.  The other day when I started this post – it got POSTponed (HA) because the baby and I have been under the weather – Drew was a little “off”.  The opening prize was a train set, and he goes, what do you want to bid for that chainsaw?  As he admitted, he didn’t even look at the prize!  Then later on, he called one of the models Rachel Ray.  Funny stuff – and though it might seem like I have too much time on my hands, I beg to differ.