I can’t stay mad at all y’all (that’s how a Southerner says it, right?)  so here’s some sub news.  Monday and Tuesday I was in near-city district again, and will be back there again tomorrow.  3rd grade was the name of the game Monday, and one of the first things I noticed was the teacher’s computer, or rather what was taped on (click pics for larger size):

How awesome- the teacher is a Christian and not afraid to show it! 🙂 . Once class started, I found she had a good group of kids making it a much easier time than 3rd grade last week.  I also got two breaks in addition to lunch- art in the AM and PE in the PM.  Besides the monitor dressing, probably the most memorable part of this job was the huge spelling packet we had to grade- without a key!  Seriously, this packet was about a dozen pages, front and back, for around 24 pages of work.  Using some time in the morning and some time in the afternoon, we were able to get through maybe half of it.  It took longer than it should have because I had to think about the answers before I said them.  It’s 3rd grade work, but that doesn’t mean the answers come instantly.  I have corrected work without a key before, but usually it’s math and usually just me grading papers, not the whole class.  At least in those situations I made a “key” by grading one studen’t paper then using it (at least the correct answers) as the key for the rest.

Tuesday I subbed for art in the open middle school and was pleasantly surprised to find I only had five classes.  There was a second art teacher who taught two classes before going to the elementary school next door.  Actually, she had a sub too, but you get the picture.  All periods were pretty easy.  The 6th-grade just got a video.  We watched one of the HBO Artist Special movies.  I picked the Rembrandt one.  These movies, or at least this one, really don’t talk much about the artists’ work, but instead take the artist and his setting, and make it into a historical fiction story utilizing a boy or girl somehow to make it more appealing to kids.  7th and 8th grade were in the middle of projects so they just continued to work on them.  I actually ran into the daughter of my church’s camp and one-time youth director- I guess I know what town his family lives in now. 🙂

Today- just a half-day in PE.  I had the option of changing it to a full day in kindergarten, but I really didn’t want to drive all the way there (one of the further schools in near-city district) and, well, you know me and younger grades, especially when “ELL” shows up in the job description. 😉 . For PE we just played scooter tag, which was just a sharks and minnows tag game on scooters, where two at a time are taggers and anyone they tag have to sit down but may tag others as they pass.  The gym becomes quite the minefield for survivors after awhile.  It was fun.  I had planned on getting gas for the mower after work and doing a quick job on the lawn, but probably because of the scheduled walkathon at the school (okay, not really) it started to downpour just as school finished.  Since rain is scheduled for the next several days I guess I will have to wait a while longer.  Oh, well.

This week was mostly unremarkable.  Monday I was in second grade, Tuesday and Friday PE, Wednesday sixth grade science, and Thursday I was in third grade.  The highlights, or in one case “low”light, were probably the PE classes and the third grade class.  Science was a “students work on projects while sub circulates” day- not that it was a bad day, just a relatively uninteresting one.  Second grade just wasn’t memorable this week.

Tuesday’s PE class included some 4th and 5th graders who played a game called “homerun derby” where they used a fat bat and tried to hit a small gatorskin dodgeball across the room to a predefined homerun zone.  The 4th grade class didn’t get a single homerun leading me to switch to actual game mode toward the end.  5th grade did better.  The big part of this job though was the work with mentally and physically impaired students- three classes to be precise.  These classes started with some running, though some were pushed in wheelchairs or otherwise helped along by assistants meaning those assistants got a bigger workout than many of the kids.  Then with varying degrees of success the students practiced hitting the ball when pitched to them.  Again, the assitants played a big role here, not only swinging with them, but in some cases just getting them to the plate to take a turn.  The third class had more severely impaired students, so they didn’t even have the ball pitched to them.  Instead, there were T-ball setups, one of which I brought out to them.  The classes ended with free-time as these kids can’t go for a full 30 minutes of structured gym time.  They got to choose balls or oversized scooters (2 feet x 3 feet (!) I think) and spent the rest of the time with them.

The third grade class was truly a low point.  I was worried from the moment I read the note saying to get the help of one of the teachers next door if the class gives trouble instead of calling the principal over, which apparently one sub did three times last year.  I actually did not have to call him over, but the one time he did come was in the middle of a crisis so of course I ended up looking bad.  I’d better cross this school off for any sort of permanent job should my life go in that direction.  There was one student who actually got so mad at one point he stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him.  This was shortly after the principal’s visit when some students were set on finding some money that was thought to be lost or stolen instead of working in their reading groups.  Another student got frazzled and needed some calming time, saying he had a bad day yesterday and was trying to avoid one today.  Well, depending on what that bad day entailed, he may have failed as it was certainly a bad morning for him (and me) from that point on.  By the afternoon things got better though the math group tended to be every bit as chatty as the regular class (they switched for math).  There was also an assembly at the end.  The student who had stormed out during the morning was supposed to sit next to me, but instead the principal had him help with the awards presentation, rewarding students for positive behavior/work over the last few months.

The other PE class was my reward for Thursday’s third grade.  Over the entire day I only had five classes.  This had part to do with the fact this teacher worked in three different schools and so had two travelling times, and part to do with Friday being a light day with only one class at one of the schools instead of the usual four, so I was able to go home for lunch (this was in hometown district).  All classes went very well.  The first school had a volleyball unit going and her classes had their first day playing a real game so I had to go over the rules, though we really didn’t keep score.  The other three classes played some tag games.  It was a nice way to end the week.

Last weekend I picked up a job in hometown district for first grade.  In fact, it was the school nearest my home.  Later, a job in supersized district appears for a resource teacher (they call it by a different name, but that’s what the job is- for those students who need the extra boost).  It was of course much further so why would I want to change over to this one?  Yet, for some reason I did.  Probably because I hadn’t worked in that district for a month thanks to them canceling most of the jobs I’ve taken in recent days.  Yes, the expected one included.  That actually lasted an entire week believe it or not.  I guess no one bothered to check and see that a mere 90-day (noncertified) sub had their three-week assignment.  We’re the ones who get the unwanted/last minute scraps at the table.  Did you know 120-day (certified) subs in this state can work more than 120 days?  They have to get a waiver from the state to do it, but for some reason they get it.  There was one year the state said no, but with some finagling they managed to get it back for the next year.  For the end of that one year, jobs were easier for me to come by.  So back to the story, I did change the job.  1st grade is a little below my comfort zone anyway, as I have mentioned.  So Monday I arrived and guess what?  They told me I was needed in first grade at the start of the day because another sub was going to be late!  Sigh.  It happened to take away my only break that day outside of a 45-minute lunch (the teacher didn’t have any students for nearly the first hour, after that it was one group of students to the next.  Actually, they offered to let me stay in first grade and bump the other sub to my assignment.  After having worked in this class for the last hour I thanked them for the offer but moved on.  And, the other teacher worked with older kids.

The first grade irony continued on Wednesday.  I subbed for elementary PE where we played hockey tag all day, a combination of the two games in the name.   The “it” players are armed with hockey sticks and they try to hit other players with yarn balls.  Depending on the rules the players hit could be out or become “it” as the stick is handed over.  The morning was all 4th-6th grades, most of whom knew what they were doing.  The afternoon had four groups, one 4th grade, one 2nd grade, and two 1st grade.  So, back to first grade for another hour 😉  Not only that, but one of the classes, probably the roughest group all day, was a class I had subbed in for a couple of days last year.  Several older students had asked if they could help me during their lunch, and this was the class they would have helped with had I said yes.  I should have said yes.  Oh, well.

In case you’re wondering, Tuesday was pretty much a repeat of IT in hometown district, same school as last week.  The 6th graders were working on house floor plans instead of enlarging cartoons, and the 7th and 8th graders were still doing modules like last time.  Nothing much to say.

On this official International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I forgot one thing while subbing- I forgot to talk like a pirate.  Despite my reminder to myself.  I think the kids would have enjoyed it.  Oh, well.  Cleanup continues here on the home flood front- I finally ripped up the carpet at the foot of the stairs which has not dried since getting flooded.  The other day I also discovered that the dryer did not in fact survive the sump-pump failure.  It started once for a test run, but then once I put a load of clothes in suddenly the dryer wouldn’t keep going once the start button was released.  Later that evening, I came down to an odd smell, which after looking up the problem was probably a fried heat control board which is $130.  Sigh.   At least the washer works so I only have to dry at the laundromat for now.

Today completed a week (well, 3½ days) of elementary subbing.  Up until this week it was all middle school.  Two days ago I showed up at a classroom expecting 4th/5th and it turned out to be 2nd.  The teacher changed grades this year and her info was not updated I guess.  I’m mad at myself about that day by the way.  I overheard something from one of the kids and I said to myself, “blog moment.”  Now I can’t remember what it was.  Next time I will write it down I think.  Anyway, an interesting thing happened that day.  I walked in on a meeting- yes, even the elementary teachers sometimes have team meetings- they must time their specials to coincide- and one of the teachers mentioned that I subbed for her last year and the kids loved me, asking for me to sub again.  And since the students were being tested, the whole reason a sub was needed in the first place in this case, and that teacher has two days scheduled next week to do the same, she took the opportunity to ask if I was available.  Another teacher asked the same.  One will be testing Monday and Tuesday, the other Wednesday and Thursday.  So… long story short [too late] I have four days in second grade next week.  Will I survive?  Well, you’ll have to tune into the blog to find out. 🙂

So… This brings me to yesterday, a half day of PE.  Two mentally impaired classes where I really just helped the assistants work with the kids, and three 4th or 5th grade classes where the kids got to toss the pigskin around, preparing for the passing part of a pass, punt, and kick contest some time in the future, apparently sponsored by the NFL.  A few of the 5th graders really had good arms- could throw pretty far.

Today was a mix.  Between morning and afternoon I had 3rd-6th grade (one 3rd/4th multiage class, one 5th/6th multiage.  They were at two different schools too, meaning I had to spend half my lunch leaving one school, travelling, and checking in at the other school.  Fortunately the plans at the second school were pretty easy so I was able to go over them quickly.  Nothing too special.  A lot of worksheets in the morning and a lot of supervising while students read or wrote in the afternoon.  Actually, scratch that- there was reading with a group for 45 minutes and during their independent reading time I did book conferences with a few kids so I did get to do some actual work beyond classroom management.  Speaking of which, this was a slightly tough crowd to keep under control.  Nothing like the ELL fiasco a couple of years back, mind you, but challenging just the same.  Fortunately I did have help in the form of an assisatnt and a high-school helper.  You know, why didn’t I ever have the opportunity to go back to elementary school when I was in high school?  It would have been fun I think, and a break from real schoolwork, though I suppose this high-schooler will have to write up her experience, or keeps some sort of log.  That could take the fun out of it I expect.

If one awards ceremony wasn’t enough, the school I was at today had its own awards show.  Knowing that elementary students are far more impatient than older ones, this ceremony was much shorter fortunately.  And I got to sit down…  Actually, the entire thing was one hour, but the presentations were only about 20 minutes.  The rest of the time was raffling off various prizes.  The entire event was based on reading.  The class I subbed for, a fifth grade class, actually came out on top with more than 1600 books read.  At least I think it was the number of books.  But they also mentioned last month, and that is a huge number for just one month, even among 25 students.  If it was for the entire year, then yes, 1600+ books.  Anyway, the kids also received raffle tickets based on the number of “miles” they went.  Come to think of it, it would have to be books, and therefore over the entire year.  Or, if in a month, then I would guess a book carries a certain number of points like in the accelerated reader program found at many schools.  Yes, that could be it.  Anyway, each student in my class had anywhere from 50 to over a hundred of these miles, earning them two to four tickets.  There were a lot of prizes, so that means a lot of chances to win.  Some kids won more than once.  I was holding a ticket for an absent student.  Unfortunately, she didn’t win at all.

After the assembly, the weather which had been rainy with a tornado watch all day had cleared up and the sun came out and dried the blacktop, so there was a 5th grade versus teachers kickball game.  Yes, I got to play…  🙂   After missing an easy catch, I did manage to score a few runs on our turns up to bat.  So, it was a fun end of the day.

What?  You want to know about the rest of the day, before the awards?  Well, it was supposed to be a field day, meaning play time outside with special events.  Remember the weather I mentioned above?  Yeah, no field day.   🙁   So, they did PE and music at the start of the day (yes! breaktime…) followed by some writing, and finally math games in the computer lab.  I got a chance to try a game they loved called Lemonade Stand.  I used to play a game by this name back when I was in school, only that game was for the Apple ][ instead of Java in the web browser.  Oops, did I just date myself?   😀   So, after that came lunch and free pizza.  Not the best, but I doubt the kids cared.   🙂   Yes, I had some too.  This was supposed to be a part of the field day, but unlike field day they couldn’t postpone the pizzas, so when they have their field day next Monday they will have to do their lunches the ordinary way.

Crazy days at the end of the year, I’ll tell ya.  If I manage to find work next week I’m sure I’ll have some more interesting tales.

EDIT:  Why don’t all the smileys/emoticons render?  Oh, well.  Editing once got one of the four to work in any event.

Tonight I write this as I should be partying instead.  Tonight is the end-of-year cast party for the children’s drama.  Or rather, that is what the schedule says.  The party was actually canceled due to lack of interest, plus a general grim outlook on people showing up on Wednesday nights for past rehearsals.  If it was going to be anything like last year’s get-together then I really won’t miss it.  It was a low turnout then and pretty unexciting.  Some ice cream and drinks, and a little bit of small talk.  The kids if I recall did some theatre games.  Those theatre games used to be part of the rehearsals, but this year they got cut due to time, though the director did do some one of the nights.

In any event, the end may have arrived for rehearsals, but we have one more weekend to perform- this coming weekend.  I suggested we have the show “canceled” and have “extras” carry off pieces of the set as we do the drama.  Unfortunately this suggestion was too late and Steve (children’s ministry pastor) cringed at the thought of having to take down and put back up the set for each performance.  I guess it was also kind of a negative note.  The show rather ends more positively by finally discovering the formula my character has been searching for for so long.  Of course the formula involves Jesus, the only super human.  He is the one who makes super heroes out of all of us who are children of God.  At the end we will take our final bows and the mock science show will end.

I really hope the performance goes without a hitch.  Last week I was the only regular cast member there for my performance time.  Another was prepared as a fill-in, but the rest just didn’t show up.  Steve said he knew a couple wouldn’t be there, but my guess is he didn’t have much advance notice as we had to scramble to get others to fill in, and needless to say they had to perform with scripts.  Something that was actually quite regular last year, but praise God was not so much of a problem this year.  The last episode is supposed to be the most memorable, so I pray that it is memorable in the right way…

Well, this wasn’t my regular sub-post, but you already knew I had PE at the one school again.  Basically, same thing different students.  Softball all day with similar pluses and minuses as the previous days’ kickball.  Until tomorrow then, when it looks like I will break the middle-school rut with second grade.  I will also get to sleep in an extra hour… 😉

I am very tired so I will make this one quick.  Besides, it was PE again, at the same school as Friday, so there isn’t much to say about it.  Kickball again.  The only real difference was I had 8th grade health instead of 6th, so I had the 6th graders for PE instead of the 8th graders.  I had to show a video in health class about abstinence.  They did some good object lessons on the video involving cups of water contaminated with spit and food and then sharing the cups.  Also, using clear packing tape as a lesson by sticking it first to one person’s arm, then another, and another, then finally sticking two of these together and comparing it to two pieces of tape never used stuck together.  I actually had to show this for only one class as there was an assembly during the other one.  Outside.  But that was okay even if the temperature was in the mid 50s.  It wasn’t all that bad.  It was about a new solar panel that was installed at the school that they said could provide energy to light one of the rooms 24/7 I think they said.  Not much, but apparently worth it.  Our village president was there along with the superintendent and even our local US House representative.  Each of them, along with a student and the principal, gave a little speech about it.  My role?  Not much since the entire school was out there which of course included all the regular teachers to keep the kids in line.

Well I’m going to leave the post with that.  Hopefully I will be less tired tomorrow when it comes time to blog.

I keep meaning to mention this bit of info.  Or maybe I already did but don’t remember.  In any event, I was at a middle school doing PE, but you already knew that.  Unlike Thursday’s PE, we actually got to go outside.  Well, there were two periods of sixth grade health, but that’s why I specified PE, didn’t I? 🙂  So, for PE 8th grade played kickball and 7th grade played soccer.  We used the baseball diamonds to play kickball.  The first class went fairly well.  They chose to play boys versus girls which worked out about as well as you would expect, being the girls at that age are more, well, feminine than a few years ago.  This of course is not meant to be sexist as there are many female athletes, most, if not all, of which can wipe the floor with me as I am a non-sports guy.  However, when talking about eighteen girls, most of them react to sports like kickball as one might expect.  It should be noted that they wanted to do boys versus girls.  I was skeptical about it, but if even the girls wanted it than I wasn’t going to stand in the way.  They outnumbered the boys too, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt.  Except the boys still issued the girls a major defeat.  The second class I didn’t even let get to the point of suggesting boys vs girls.  As soon as we were on the field I randomly picked two students as captains and had them pick teams, alternating boys and girls as long as possible.  This class was the goofiest of the day, though not matching the two classes I mentioned Thursday.  They just didn’t take the game seriously.  Well, I guess if I was going to be in high school in just a few weeks I might take advantage of a nice day outside with a sub too.  I didn’t let it bother me- I just wrote it down for the gym teacher to read when he gets back.

But where does the title come in?  Well, it has to do with 7th grade soccer, which went quite well by the way, excepting the fact that the goals were not placed across from each other which I only noticed after a student informed me that the point I was about to place the ball wasn’t center.  I looked back at the goal I was using to center the ball and it was centered as best as I could tell.  I looked at the other goal and I was putting the ball at a point that wasn’t even between the two goal cones.  What the…?  Unfortunately I couldn’t move the goal because the teacher this morning had drawn goalie boxes .  Oh well.  There were no sidelines anyway so no big deal.  The second 7th grade class is where the title finally comes into play.  How often is it one finds two students at the same school, in the same grade, and on the same team with the same name?  And by this I mean first and last name.  I actually noticed this issue weeks ago.  It was when in one class I noticed there was a boy named Peter who sounded like a student I knew from church.  Once class started I looked at him and he wasn’t the one.  Another day I noticed the name again, and found it was attached to a different boy.  Huh?  This boy did look familiar.  It took another couple times subbing for this grade before I realized the two were on the same team though rarely in the same class for some reason.  At least the classes I subbed in.  My guess is they were purposely given different schedules to aid the teachers.  However, when it came to PE, there was only one time available per team so both Peters were in the same gym class, though different teachers.  Well, for soccer the two classes combined and I took the boys out on one field while she took the girls out on another field.  So, you guessed it: Peter vs Peter.  They aren’t really two of a kind other than their name.  They look different, and in soccer one defended while the other played on offense.

Oh, and only one was the Peter I knew.  He goes to a different church now, but he did attend mine a few years ago. 🙂

I was in conversation with another teacher and he happened to say this about the current eighth grade class.  After today I would agree on this for a few students with a wish that they would grow up soon.  These students are the ones teachers have in mind when they say they will never teach middle school.  One of the eighth grade PE classes had a several students that could fit this category.  They would not settle down and listen to the rules of the game they were to play.  By the time they finally got started, there was less than 15 minutes left until I had to bring them back up to get changed.  Yes, we were inside even though it was a fairly nice day outside- the other two classes were outside and apparently there are only two fields to play softball.  I can’t say, unfortunately, that eight grade was the only issue.  One of the sixth grade classes also drove me nuts.  It took awhile to start with them as well, and it took a lot of time to rotate teams between games as well.  Fortunately the other four classes went well (6th, 8th, and two 7th).

What we played was scooter volleyball.  Two nets were set up in the room downstairs (they call it the fitness room- apt because they do that there as well, like aerobics they had to do when I was there a couple of times last year).  The teams sat on scooters (those squares on four wheels/castors you plant your butt on) and played volleyball that way, using a gator-skin ball probably because the court was so shallow and the ceiling low.  Most volleyball rules applied, but some were a little different like you could catch and throw the ball, not just bump or set it.  It was also played in two-minute games so the one team who was rotated out wouldn’t have to wait long.

Well, that’s about it.  I should say I am fortunate there was still another guy teacher there with me today to take over most of the duties in the locker room.  When you think of a gym locker room you might think of a place that reeks of BO.  You’d be half-right.  It reeks all right- of Axe and other spray deodorant.  Either way, something to stay out of.  At least it’s not like when I was in junior high when we had to take showers.  Nude of course.  I think I would have to just say no to subbing for PE if that were the case.  I guarantee I would not bother with making sure they all took showers.  It’s interesting to note that many of these schools still have the showers, even if they are no longer used.  Well, used for their intended purpose.  Some schools use them as storage.

In days of banning tag from the playground because some kids “get too rough” it seems only natural that dodge-ball is so far banned, it is even anathema to mention it. Perhaps that is really only valid in the elementary school though. Or maybe the ones making the rules don’t like the attitude of middle schoolers so they say to go ahead and bash each others’ brains out with round throwable objects. In any event dodge ball is definitely allowed in middle school, or at least some middle schools. It was probably banned a while ago before the advent of soft foam balls more commonly known as gatorskin, or rhinoskin balls, though something tells me no alligators or rhinoceroses were hurt in the making of these balls. Softer even than Nerf™ balls ever were, it would take a pretty thin head to actually get hurt by one of these balls, but yet they can still be thrown across the room or even used in a pinch for kickball.

If you haven’t figured it out by now I subbed for a PE teacher today. I actually wanted to get up a 6AM to see what was available, but I woke up at 5:30 instead, and this was the only job on the systems so it’s the one I took. Of course I didn’t mind at all since it was only a mile away too. 🙂 I probably mentioned earlier that middle school PE is one of the easier positions to sub for as the other teachers usually run the show with me helping out. Not always, but most of the time. Because there was another teacher out as well, and the field was still wet from yesterday’s two downpours, they mixed up thing a little and instead of doing softball and whatever one of the other teachers was supposed to do (health?) we all played dodge-ball instead. We divided them up into six teams and they played three-minute games, rotating between games to keep things fresh. Three grades, six PE periods, all dodge-ball. There was one period where a girl came up to me and asked if she could take attendance. I had to do a double-take as she clearly had some hormonal problem. There were patches of hair on her face. Growth that would take a guy weeks to grow, so it wasn’t just peach fuzz like on many eighth-grade boys. I just took a look at Wikipedia and it looks like it could be either androgen excess or a rare disorder called hypertrichosis (werewolf syndrome). I tried very hard not to stare at her, and felt guilty every time I so much as glanced in her direction. Of course I let her take attendance even though I was really just playing at it since I was told I didn’t need to take attendance and didn’t have a record book to take it in in any event. I just didn’t want the kids to feel they could blow off gym sometime and not be missed.

The end of the day was kind of interesting. This school schedules homeroom at the end of the day, so I was on my way up to the 8th grade classroom I was supposed to be in when I found out all the eighth-graders were on their way to the multipurpose room for an assembly. Okay then, I went there instead. They had a presentation from some Japanese-American people about World War II. I’m guessing it was put together by a teacher from one of the middle schools as she was there and she teaches world history. And she is Japanese-American. They had a video of shots taken in the WWII internment camps and then two elderly people who lived through it talked to them. It was interesting, especially as one of them after going through this decided to join a special Japanese-American infantry that was formed some time after Pearl Harbor. He did this even though he like the rest of the Japanese-Americans were treated so shabbily. He had a few reasons for doing this though other Japanese-Americans understandably refused to have any part of the not-so-good ‘ol US of A at this point in history. One reason was he had very good childhood growing up under the tutelage of several teachers who left good impressions on him. Alo he wanted to prove that not all Japanese-Americans were on the side of Japan. In reality, I think very few were on Japan’s side in this war making this whole internment camp thing a ridiculous waste of time in addition to being reprehensible. This man became a teacher himself, apparently well-regarded in the circle of Chicago’s school system. It would be eye-opening for me if I didn’t already think the whole thing was wrong. In fact, when 9/11 happened we didn’t do anything even close to this to Middle-Easterners in this country and it looks like we’re still here. I still don’t trust Islam, and many others don’t either, but there have been no more terrorist bombings in this country since so it was clearly the right choice to leave them be.