Another inspiration from a friend

While traversing through the world of Facebook this morning I came across a status that got me thinking again. Thanks!!

How do you know when you’ve met the “one”?

Now I came back with my first rough answer, but the question got me thinking. Once this started I knew that i would have a blog post by some time this evening.

First let’s start with the meaning of the “one”. Most people would take that to be a life partner. Someone you could spend the rest of your days with. Usually people have the underlying thought that this should be a good relationship. And one would think that with a name such as “the one”, it would be a fairly rare occurrence. It has to be hard to find “the one”, doesn’t it? I certainly hope not, and I don’t think so.

So just what is required? From my experience, I think you have to be open to finding a relationship. You may or may not be actively looking, but you have to be actively open to one. I think this is the hardest thing to do, because to really be open, you have to give a little more of yourself if you ever expect to find a relationship. The people you are looking for the relationship with also have to be open to one. Finding out who those people are can also be a difficult task.

So, you’ve taken that first step. You decided to give it a go. You find someone you are interested in, and it seems like they are interested in you. Is that the one? Maybe. Yes, maybe! Right from the start? Yes, right from that very first meeting. BUT (notice that is a big but), you need to take the time to learn about each other. How much time depends on a lot of things, but it could be days, months or years. Yes, it can and does vary that much.

How do you know, when is it apparent? I think that all happens when BOTH (see the highly important both here?) of you can answer the following questions with a big YES.

1) Can we talk about anything? No subject is taboo? Are you comfortable when conversing on all subjects?
This one is a big deal. If you can’t open up in a conversation, can you open up in other areas?

2) Do similar interests? Do you have fun doing the same things?
Basically asking are you compatible in life.

3) Do you have different interests? Are you willing to share or accept the differences? Are you willing to let each other have the time for activities outside of what you do together?
How bad are your green-eyed monsters. Jealousy destroys many relationships.

4) Are you willing to die for each other? Are you both willing to put the other first?
Just asking, how much are you willing to give. If you’re not willing to give everything you have, I don’t feel you found your “One”. I don’t mean you have to die for each other, but the willingness needs to be there.

Good, fulfilling relationships are about giving and receiving. Not give and take. Each person gives to the best of their ability and resources. Each person receives in kind. There should never be an expectation of getting something back when you do something for each other. In doing this you find that part of your giving, is making sure that neither gives too much. As with most things in life, balance is very important. When two people decide that they want this kind of relationship, then they have found their “ones”.