Let me tell you a little about myself….

No, not really, this is a post about lying on résumés. Or other funny things I’ve seen on résumés in the past. I saw the news story on CNN, and just had to look and see if the lies were as good as the ones I’ve seen in an earlier job. I don’t thing I saw the ten reasons listed, but then again I saw a few good ones.

1 claimed to have been working on a specific computer for a longer period of time than the computer was actually in existence. Since they did not list the Computer Mfg as one of their past employers, I actually had them in for an interview to explain this. It was fun to see the redness creep into their face. Can I be mean or what?

Another claimed to work with a proprietary software language, but they never worked on the machines where this language was used. Hmm, they turned down the interview. (Could they have heard about the other interviewee?)

Graduated from my College, the same year as me with a BS in Computer Science. Small school, and I never heard of this person. No BS in Computer Science was offered when I graduated either. Some joke. He accepted the interview date, but never showed up when I said in passing it would be good to see a fellow alum.

I’ve also seen résumés written in crayon for a data entry position (come on folks, if you’re going for a computer job, you should never hand write your résumé). Pictures, from a “fashion” shoot, attached to the résumé. Stained résumés, usually coffee, but some were unidentifiable stains. There were many more, but these stand out in my memories. This doesn’t even include the multiple misspellings on them. Like do you know how to spell your own name? Yes, one résumé had the name spelled differently on the cover letter and résumé.

Then there are the interviews. My favorite is one told around the site of my current employment. Seems a guy’s pants fell down as he was leaving the interview. His last words were, “I guess that blows any chances I had of getting this job.” I’m not sure how the rest of the interview went, but that last line was priceless.

So much fun with résumés. I’m now wondering what kind of stories people tell about me, when I was on the other side of the interview desk.